thousand thoughts about a thing

i have no one to talk to, thus i write

2012-02-08T22:26:00.004-08:00

2 bulan ga nulis apa2, kalo kata asti sih 'udah ga ngerti lagi...' hahaha.

intinya sih, cuma pengen berbagi. ngga kok ga galau, cuma mikir aja :''''')

have anyone ever heard of BEAST or B2ST? kalo ngga pernah, monggo di cek disini ^^

Q: terus, emang Beast kenapa ma?
A: mereka mau ke sini, ke Jakarta, ke Indonesia.

.....

*kemudian hening*

KYAAA KYAAA KYAAAAAAAA mereka mau kesini KYAAAAAAAA. excited. maksimal. maksimaaaaal banget.

okay ini absurd. yaudah. gatau.

stressed out........... ;_;

flashback

2011-12-13T02:14:00.000-08:00

Decide to write a so-called reflective writing on my last week being of 17 y.o girl lmao.

2011.

It's kinda an important year for me. In a bright note, I've graduated from high school, after 12 years (plus 2 years of kindergarten) of wearing uniform almost everyday, I've been freed this year. But in a dark note, I'm such a failure this year. Yep, I didn't get to enroll to the college I've been desired for the last....4 years?

Well, to be honest this year is one hell year for me. Shits happened and sometimes all I wanna do is curl up into a ball, hiding from society and their scary question on 'which college/uni you're currently in?' *shoot self*

But no, I know I'm tough enough to face them with a smile and say 'not yet, I'll continue my study next year. I got rejected this year'. I don't want people to pity me, therefore I have to be strong to face them ^^*

Now talking about the good side, the achievement I've reached this year. Well, nothing much beside the fact that now I'm a high school graduate lol. And I have a job, a small one, teaching two kids, one from primary school and the other from middle school. I'm thankful that at least I have something to do and I could earn my own money for my own pleasure (read: fangirl needs).

Self reflection. Okay, this is hard.

I don't know this is true or not, but for the last 6 months or something I feel like I matured a lot. Like, being free from school also makes my way of thinking also being freed. I feel somehow more capable to see things from some different points of view. Whether people also see this or not I don't know lol.

On the negative side, my social skill is dropped to its lowest. Hahaha really, I feel like being isolated from the world outside there and living in my own comfort bubble. Yeah whatever, soon when preparation class starts, I wish I could back to society.

Future plan(s).

In short, all I want is getting enrolled to one of my desired unis/colleges. Yes, that is practically all I want.

Okay... So I think I don't know what to write again.... Hahaha. I'm turning 18 this 18th and I wish I could be a better person for everyone and everything. Please wish me a good luck for everything hahaha.

SNMPTN=수능(suneung)

2011-11-08T06:47:00.000-08:00

Jadi, sebagai seorang k-popers yang up-to-date dan mengikuti perkembangan berbagai hal (plak), gue nyadar kalo sekarang udah masuk musim gugur, yang artinya tes masuk universitas di Korea udah makin deket. Awalnya gue tau ini waktu kelas 11 kemarin, pas Hyuk ngetweet yang isinya nyemangatin orang-orang yang mau tes. Tapi gue ga ngeh nama tesnya apa dan kapan mulainya. Pas kelas 12 pun karena gaada yang ngetweet masalah itu gue lagi-lagi ga sadar. Sampe akhirnya beberapa minggu yang lalu mulai pada heboh deh ngomongin ini tes lagi. Berhubung gue menaruh perhatian lebih pada pria-pria seumuran (baca: sesama 93liner), gue pun tertarik akan tes ini.

Ternayata namanya 수능 (baca: Suneung), and thanks to Wikipedia, gue tau lebih banyak tentang tes ini. Jadi menurut gue sih, ini sama persis kaya SNMPTN. Bedanya, pertama, tes ini punya waktu pasti, selalu hari Kamis kedua di bulan November. Kedua, 5 periode tes (verbal, matematika, bahasa Inggris, IPA/IPS/vokasional, bahasa asing) dilaksanakan dalam 1 hari (kebayang deh.....). Ketiga, South Koreans take it oh so serious. They take this as a life-and-death matter. Pegawai negeri masuk lebih pagi di hari Suneung supaya ga macet. Kalo ada murid yang ngerasa bakal telat, mereka bakal dikawal polisi. Rada gila kan? Kebayang kalo SNMPTN kaya gini.......*merinding*.

(kalo mau tau lebih, bisa disimak di sini)

Lalu, apa hubungannya sama gue?

Sebagai orang yang nyaris putus asa karena baru bisa mulai kuliah tahun depan (itupun gatau bisa dapet negeri atau ngga. NGGA, GUE HARUS MASUK PTN. INSYA ALLAH BISA. ALLAHU AKBAR!) gue selalu berusaha nyari pembelaan, bukan buat membuktikan kalo gue ga salah karena gabisa kuliah tahun ini, tapi pembelaan kalo ga ada salahnya kuliah cuma telat setahun.

Dan pembelaan itu dikuatkan oleh Suneung :D

Ada 92liner yang baru ikut tes tahun ini, Baro sama Sandeul. Jadi kalo kita bertiga (lol) lulus Suneung dan SNMPTN tahun ini, kita bakal satu angkatan hehehehe. Dan rata-rata 93liner ikut tes tahun ini juga, Gongchan, Jiyoung, etc gue lupa siapa aja. Intinya, yang seumur ama gue pun pada baru kuliah, walaupun di Korea sono bukan di Indonesia (yaudahalah bikin gue seneng kek). Terakhir, ada juga 93liner yang ngeskip setahun, namely Taemin, IU, etc. Intinya gue masih punya kemungkinan buat jadi sunbaenim buat mereka haha.

Well, I may looked shallow. But whatever sweethearts, I just want to be happy!

yang tertunda

2011-10-24T19:40:00.000-07:00

Kemarin, sebelum pergi sama ~~OTP~~ temen gue tercayank, Ranti, gue baru liat ini:

Sebenernya mau langsung jawab, tapi berhubung udah jam setengah 10 dan gue belom mandi, jadi ditunda sampe setelah pulang jalan aja. Selesai jalan, SUKIRA nya seru, walhasil malah kesampet buat streaming SUKIRA :p

Well, intinya cuma mau bilang, there's nothing to be sorry about kali raaaaaan haha. Jujur kaget loh gue bacanya, soalnya gue aja ga pernah mikir gitu. Lagian, ga terbukti kali, buktinya lo diterima di Cindy gue kagak :p

(gif beserta kata-katanya buatan gue loh ran :p)

curhat (dan galau) dikit boleh kali...

2011-10-12T05:33:00.000-07:00

꺼져줄게 잘 살아...
(I’ll back off so you can live...)

hehe. awalnya mau curhat di tumblr karena mungkin lebih banyak orang yang ngerti lagu ini. tapi.....rasanya sedikit personal buat diumbar sama temen2 tumblr yang cuma tau happy-go-lucky nya gue :p lagu ini bukan lagu baru, lagu tahun 2010 kemarin, yang nyanyi Jina eonnie ~~mantan pacarnya pacarku Eunhyuk~~ hahaha. awalnya ga terlalu 'ngeh' sama lagu ini. tapi gatau kenapa akhir2 ini playlist hp lagi demen banget buat muterin lagu ini.

berawal dari seringnya lagu ini keputer lah akhirnya gue tertarik buat nonton mv yang ada liriknya. dan walhasil. ini jadi semacem 'self-reflection' buat gue.

I’ll back off so you can live
That is all I can say
I’ll forget you so you can live better
So that you’ll be happy without me

setelah dua setengah tahun, akhirnya nemu sesuatu yang 'teng' banget. banget loh. ~~ditambah adegan nangisnya doojoon, please~~. kenapa ini lagu ga keluar pas juli 2009 ya? hahaha. ditambah yang nyanyi cewe pula.

(I know) You will forget me
(I know) I will really hate you

see? kenyataannya juga emang gitu kan? haha dia sekarang udah punya yang baru yang kayanya long-last deh. ngga kok, gue ga pernah ada maksud buat nongol lagi dan minta ditembak lagi haha. cuma susah banget rasanya buat ga indifferent tiap kali dia disebutin. sama siapapun. termasuk sama nyokap. haha. (gue aja kaget nyokap masih inget sama dia. padahal dulu nyokap sering banget marah kalo dia nelpon gue malem2 :p)

kalo kata Om Bangkit sih ini ga sehat. tapi....tetep deh haha. rasanya masih pengen punya satu hari buat ga ngapain2, ga ketemu siapa2, cuma tiduran aja di kasur, pasang headset, denger semua lagu yang dulu ~~kita~~ anggep '~~kita~~' banget. nangis sepuasnya. gaperlu ada orang yang bilang everything's gonna be alright, in the end you'll be able to forget him. because tbqh, i don't need those words. gue tau kok itu bakal kejadian. tapi bukan berarti semua kata2 temen2 yang ada pas gue nangis di 'pohon menangis' ga gue dengerin atau gue anggep sampah kok haha ngga tenang aja.

haaaaaah. sumpah gue bosen loh sama hari-hari mendadak down kaya gini. but well, this is what happens when you practically have nothing to do and to think. positive thinking? i'm getting bored with paradise. hahaha.

Did you really love me?
I'll forget you so you can live better
Goodbye

haha how i wish when this song ended, these feelings will gone too.

btw, setelah gue baca dari atas sampe bawah, kok rada ga nyambung sih? duh. hahahaha. kapan sih otak lo bener ma?????

Because your beauty is super and infinite (lol)

2011-08-11T20:25:00.000-07:00

<!--[if gte mso 9]> Normal 0 false false false EN-US X-NONE X-NONE

Hello ^^

It has been a while…. Kkkk can’t help but I was really busy for the last few months, didn’t really have time to write. Like, seriously, all I did was learning for USM and talking and tweeting. I miss writing :’D

So, any question about the title? Haha. It’s simply about 3 bands I currently enjoy, Super Junior, BEAST, and Infinite.

Let’s start from the oldest one LOL

HEY! Mr. Simple~ Because I naughty, naughty

Super Junior is back, with their 5jib, titled Mr. Simple. (I’m proudly announcing that I’ve ordered one of the original copy of it. LOL. Idul Fitri should come faster so that I can repay my dad’s money :p) I’ve listened to all the tracks, and to be honest, at first I was quiet disappointed that few upbeat tracks are almost auto-tune, Heavens know how much I hate auto-tune, jsyk. Like Mr. Simple, Opera, and Be My Girl. The first 3 tracks really made me go ‘meh’. But, the rest 8 tracks are just lovely. KRY (along with Sungmin and Donghae) showed their capability. Their voiced are just fit perfectly LOL.

The main track, Mr. Simple, is just like Sorry, Sorry and Miinah, that once you hear it, you’ll unconsciously humming to that song and started to memorize its infamous move. Yup, that ‘my-fingers-are-wet’ dance or called ‘kepret dance’ here in Indonesia. LOL. Tatia texted me and said ‘you must have memorized the move already’ and hell yeah I did :p. Hyukjae doesn’t rap in this song, he sings. 2 lines, around 14 seconds in total, but I quiet satisfied. I mean, well he’s not a good singer, but he does can sing. And he should sing after all, Shindong should have more rap lines. JK.

Don’t blame me that I keep rambling about Hyukjae haha. I love his blonde hair. I don’t think I’ll be this fine with that hair of his. But, God, he looks adorable with that blonde locks. For 2 performances I’ve watched, I love them all haha. Idk, but the dance break really really satisfies me. Hyukjae did the freeze, omg when was the last time I saw he did one? On star king he just did back flip, no freeze or what so ever. Me ish happy.

(crappy cap is crappy)

Choco, I must be crazy that I’m willingly take your place in his arms ;~;

Btw, it surprises me that he still has his abs despite the amount of weight he lost. How much he worked out lately? Sighs. This boy.

Next, Beauty represents BEAST. Yup, it’s simply their fansclub name :p

(Left to right: Junhyung-Dongwoon-Yoseob-Kikwang-Doojoon-Hyunseung)

Fiction and Fact is their first full album, for the last 2 years, they've been constantly releasing mini album or singles. All I can say is, I love this album. I love 8 of 10 songs in this album. Their main track, Fiction, is somehow addicting. In addition, the 'penguin' step is also cute haha.

Since Fiction’s comeback last May, I’ve been keeping my eyes on them. Simply out of curiousity. The day they made their comeback on mubank, I spazzed like a mad on bbm with Smitta. Lol that was fun. But back then, I have no bias yet, just simply told Tatia that Hyunseung is adorable with his orange hair.

Prince Jang~

Time went by….and I fell deeper and deeper. Just like the first time I saw them, I developed a crush (lolwhut) towards Hyunseung. His orange hair fits his pale complexion perfectly. Gosh, I love this boy. It seems like seeing the second Hyukjae. I fell in love with Hyukjae because of his red hair, and I fell for Hyunseung's bright orange hair. He's just so gorgeous :3

To know them better, I tried to find some reality shows that show the real them. I started watching ShinPD, because it's short, and I couldn't believe that they are that ridiculous. Seriously. Then I watched Idol Maid....and yeah, these 6 guys are somehow near crazy -.- Doojoon is so fatherly and bossy, Hyunseung is cute but weird, Junhyung is cool but grumpy Pikaholic (lmao), Yoseob is sooooo cute but dominating, Kikwang is handsome but babo (XD), Dongwoon is smart but looks too old (HAHA)

Overall, I know them well enough, up to their personality and habits (ultimately Hyunseung's) but still I'm not that confident to call myself as b2uty haha.

Last, Infinite! Gah, just like Beast, I know them from their debut 'dorawa dorawa, dashi dorawa' is something that automaticaly playing inside my head everytime I hear 'Infinite' being mentioned. But, I know nothing about them. Haha. I even watched their BTD's comeback stage. And honestly, I was so irritated by Sungjong's blonde hair and Dongwoo's bright red hair back then.

(left to right: Hoya-Sunggyu-Woohyun-L-Sungjong-Sungyeol-Dongwoo)

Their 'Over the Top' album is also lovely! I enjoy 7 out of 10 songs. Uh, really, their vocal strength is undeniably great. I've never ever thought before that a rapper could sing, but Hoya proves me wrong. His voice is nice~ Then they have leader Gyu and Woohyun (they're a 'couple' btw :p) are also possesed a naaaaiseu voices.

To know their personality, I watch Sesame Player (thanks to Tania) and also Days of Infinite. These guys are seriously hilarious. And I found my bias already! Before I get to know the whole band, I use to fancy Sungjong for his diva attitude. But then, I fell for another Sung, it's Sungyeol the choding. Seriously, this guy is such a choding, when he met Eun Jiwon, these two chodings are seriously funny. Sungyeol is in charge of chubby cheeks and fat stomach. LOL. But he's so cute :3

Sung-choding :3

Soooo, I'd like recommend these three groups to whoever read this entry. But don't blame me if their real personality ruin their cool and charismatic persona on stage.

Bye yeom!

trio macan atau three musketeers? you name it!

2011-05-27T04:36:00.000-07:00

2 orang ini ga kesebut di 'thanks to' yang kemarin. maaf ya, tp gue emang sengaja pengen buat sesuatu yg 'spesial' tentang perkumpulan kecil kita ini wkwkwkwkw

ya, inilah kami, 3 makhluk yang (terlihat) normal, namun 'beda' di dalam

awalnya, gue selalu pulang naik 04 sendiri, atau bareng Adel, terus ketemu Ghina. eh lalu Getha bergabung juga, pas banget saat Adel udah jarang pulang bareng gue. Ritual kita setiap pulang sekolah selalu sama, jalan kaki sampe jembatan FKUI, nyebrang, baru deh naik 04.

FKUI jadi saksi, iya gedung Fakultas Kedoktera Universitas Indonesia di Salemba Raya yang ini:

hampir setiap kali pulang dengan formasi lengkap bertiga ini, pasti ada aja yang lawak. Mari kita mulai dengan insiden Gita Gutawa.

Pasti kenal kan ama GitGut? Penyanyi remaja dengan suara maha tinggi itu loh. Jadi suatu sore, kita berdua jalan seperti biasa menuju FKUI. Ga tau ada angin apaan, tau-tau kita jadi ngomongin Gita Gutawa. Mungkin karena jiwa artis kita yang tinggi atau jiwa seni semata, pas tepat jalan di depan FKUI, kita bertiga mulai nyanyi. Ya, nyanyi lagunya Gita Gutawa, yang Ayah/Yang terbaik bagimu. Pas dibagian:

"KU TRUS BERJANJIIIIIIIIIIIIIII"

(anda bayangkanlah tiga suara mencoba falsetto, tapi malah jadinya fals dan kepleset.)

mungkin kalo gaada yang denger kita bertiga hanya akan berakhir dengan cengir kuda, tapi tidak saudara-saudara, di depan kita ada seorang mba-mba yang refleks nengok denger suara kita dan ketawa. iya, ketawa.

karena ga bisa nahan, kita bertiga juga berakhir ngakak. akhirnya kita memutuskan buat berenti dulu, sekalian nunggu mba itu jalan jauh. selang beberapa saat, kita akhirnya jalan lagi. dan ternyata, si mba itu lagi beli jepitan di abang-abang jembatan FKUI. JREEEEEEEEENG. akhirnya kita mencoba ngumpetin muka sambil terus jalan buat nyebrang.

Insiden kedua adalah insiden tupperware. Getha adalah tokoh utamanya. Waktu itu Adel lg pulang bareng kita bertiga. Gue jalan di depan sambil ngobrol sama Adel, dibelakang gue Ghina ama Getha berduaan. Lagi-lagi saat depan FKUI, gue lagi asik ngobrol, tau-tau ada tempat minum tupperware ngegelinding ngelewatin gue. Saat gue nengok ke belakang, Getha udah di jalanan. Jatoh saudara-saudara! Sebagai teman ~~yang baik~~ gue sama Ghina malah ketawa ga abis-abis, sampe ada bapak-bapak yang perhatian ngomong segala macem, tapi kita masih ngakak. Bahunya Getha mulai bergetar, dikira nangis, ternyata ketawa juga sampe kayanya gamau bangun dari tanah. Sumpah ini malang ~~tapi lucu~~ meeeeeen

Begitulah balada perjalanan kami menuju rumah, kira2 cuma selama kelas 3 doang kita kaya gini, tapi sumpah, ini ga bakal terlupakan. Setiap liat FKUI, pasti bawaanya pengen ketawa mulu. Ya ampun!

alhamdulillah

2011-05-17T06:02:00.000-07:00

ini:

berakhir dengan:

Alhamdulillah ya Allah yang Maha Pengasih, Penyayang, Pendengar dan Pengabul segala doa.
Mungkin aku terkesan seperti orang yang menyianyiakan kesempatan, tapi aku janji, karunia ini bakal jadi penyemangat buat jalanku selanjutnya. Terus berikanlah hamba Mu ini segala nikmat dan kemudahan ya Rabb. Hamba hanya bisa senantiasa berusaha dan berdoa, sedang segala keputusan hanya ada di tangan Mu ya Akbar. Terima kasih ya Allah, alhamdulillahi rabbil alamin.

ngga bisa berenti ngucap alhamdulillah dlm hati, terharu ya Allah. ngga nyangka bakal nangis gini. ya Allah. semoga USM STAN juga diberi kemudahan semudah ini ya Rabb.

selamat juga buat temen2 yang diterima di jurusan dan fakultas yang diimpikan masing2.
buat yg belum semangat ya, kita sama2 masih berjuang. semoga Allah selalu bersama kita. amin!

kelulusan, 68♥11

2011-05-16T20:35:00.000-07:00

LEMS

(lemot egois manja sombong)

BEO

(ga punya inisiatif)

"denger ya dek, saya, paling ga suka, kalo ada....."

haha, kalimat2 tak terlupakan deh ya.

walaupun gue ga ikut perjuangan dari awal (gue ga ikut LDKS :p) but still, Bromo, Bazkom, dan Halimun menyisakan kenangan tak terlupakan deh :D

setelah berjuang selama 3 tahun, alhamdulillah, kemarin saya dinyatakan LULUS dengan nilai ujian nasional 48,5. (emang ga sesuai target, tp gue juga sadar diri, secara gue ble'e gini)

setelah melihat pengumuman, terus ngasih surprise ultahnya Peem, makan di Pizza Hut, kita pun karaokean. This must be one of the most unforgettable moment we shared, guys.

there's nothing much to say but THANK YOU. like really really really THANK YOU SO MUCH guys. for those who always been here beside me.

Tatia, yang mukanya gahar tapi hatinya keibuan dengan jiwa kepemimpinan yang tinggi. (ampun bos)

Ranti, yang sering banget sehati ~~dengan kadar gombal nyaris sama dengan gue~~ dan setia selalu kaya rexona (haha)

Femi, yang sabar dan sulit ditebak tapi nyaman buat curhat dan dipeluk (ihiw)

Tania, yang practically attached by the hip with me dan partner yang tepat buat 'kejahatan' tertentu :p

Sarah, yang selalu mencerahkan suasana dengan kreativitasnya (cieeee) dan bikin lo mikir secacat apapun lo masih ada yang lebih lebih (HAHA AMPUN SAR)

Rahma, yang rese namun sebenarnya baik hati tidak sombong dan berbakat jadi artis (serius gue ma :p)

Peem, yang selamanya imut (dan suka ga nyadar kalo dia kecil jadi cenderung sok gede) tapi jiwanya vintage nan jadul (muah! haha)

Dhani, yang selalu rela jadi korban bullying tapi bisa rese juga, sekaligus ibu bendahara dengan cashflow tak terbatas (HAHAHA)

Ami, ibu PKK yang selalu tersenyum dan senantiasa pasrah but soooo gullible :3

Niken, yang baik dan diem namun bisa gahar juga (inget yang pas kena bola di matraman ken haha)

Manda, yang punya pacar nun jauh disana (haha ga nyambung) yang amat sangat sabar dan multi talented :3

Adel, yang sering jadi temen pulang dan ngobrol diangkot \o/

anak2 JGC 011/012 lainnya yang udah rela dipimpin ama gue yang ga punya jiwa kepemimpinan ini (haha)

serta semua temen seangkatan 68♥11 yang rasanya mustahil dan munafik kalo gue bilang gue hafal kalian semua.

pokoknya, with cherry and extra chocolate topping and sprinkle on the top,

I LOVE YOU GUYS

euphoria biru

2011-05-16T19:32:00.000-07:00

selamat pagi!

rencananya mau nulis dari semalem, cuma tenggorokan ngajak ribut dan aku tak kuasa beranjak dari kasur untuk menjamah laptop *bahasanya apa coba??* kalo dipikir2, lebih enak lagi nulis nanti malem, nunggu pengumuman SNMPTN undangan, tapi kalo ditunda2 malah semakin males, jadilah kita mulai sekarang saja!

bermula dari 15 Mei kemain, ada acara gathering untuk project signing banner. dan sialnya gue ada les (lebih tepatnya sesi curhat) di hari Minggu itu. tapi yang namanya ada niat, pasti ada jalan, setelah mengalami berbagai musibah mulai dari salah liat jadwal kereta, muter2 pake angkot, ketinggalan lightstick, gatau lagu Our Love, mau ke ATM tapi tutup, sampai nunggu Trans Jakarta yang hasilnya nihil, akhirnya gue, Tania, dan adeknya Tania berhasil sampe ke Magic Cafe di Artha Gading, tempat gathering ultahnya WonHyuk bulan April kemarin. Ini foto dari sana:

Menurut organizernya, sekitar 1000 orang dateng ke acara ini. WOW banget ya. Bayangin, lantai 5 Artha Gading di penuh ELF yang rata2 pake baju biru, ngacungin light stick, dan meneriakan nama2 korea yang mungkin bagi orang2 di 4 lantai di bawah kami absurd banget haha. Bahkan pas diputerin video performnya SJ, itu bener2 ya teriakan membahana, lantai sampe ikutan geter, dan gue bener2 ketakutan bakal terjadi hal2 yang tidak diinginkan kepada lantainya.

I've signed the banner. Pas di atas fotonya Hyuk, kecil ga lebay, cuma nulis '슈주짱!은혁오빠 최고야!' di atas dan di bawah tanda tangan gue. Haha whatever. Acara selanjutnya adalah nyanyi bareng Our Love sama Shining Star, dan untungnya dikasih teks:

and also with light stick:

(lol we looked so kucel)

abis itu gue berniat buat belanja, secara udah dibela-belain ke ATM dulu mamen. Tapi ternyata gaada yang layak dibeli. Gue berakhir dengan beli kipas dengan foto ilegal Hyuk, lumayan buat teraweh:

dan perjuangan hari minggu pun berakhir ^^

---next, 16 Mei 2011

thirteen; and four.

2011-04-08T02:21:00.000-07:00

You're not even my bias but I got brain freeze the moment I read that you're involved in an accident. The only thing I thought was: 'why?'

Out of 13+2 members, why you and you again?

Please don't tell me that 13 is an unlucky number.

Out of all the month, why April and April again?

Please don't tell me that 4 mean death

April 8^th, 11 days away to the 4^th year after that miserable accident.

You are the luckiest unlucky guy alive.

When you said this is the second chance you’re living for, it means that you’re given your third chance now.

Please don’t say that you’re sorry, because apparently you’re not.

Your safety is our main concern.

So please, just recover soon, take your time.

We wish you’ll get better soon, our magnae :)

조규현, 파이팅!

to my dearest @chkyhn, this is for you.

April still a happy month though \^^/

Happy Birthday, Lee Hyukjae!

2011-04-03T05:59:00.000-07:00

0404

Dear Oppa,
this is your second birthday i cherished

you didn't have twitter yet back the. so, i just tweeted like that. keke.

This is, you'll turn 25 (or 26).

There must be a lot of things happen in your life, your career and stuffs.
Nothing i wish for you but stay healthy and happy.
Take care of your sensitive stomach and your picky habit.

Do not overwork yourself.
You're amazing just the way you are.
With those flaws and imperfection.

Please be happy.

Enjoy everything in your life.
I know that you're a thankful person.
God must always give you the best since you always praise Him right?
Seeing you cry... it's hurting.
So please keep smiling.
Even we, your Jewels, won't mind to seeing your weakness.
Your breakdown and cry.

Your decision to quit Dream Team, to quit Star King and come back again, to become an addition in SJM, to withdraw from SUKIRA, to stop from Strong Heart.
I promised myself not to regret or to complain about it, just the way you did.
Don't you never tell us about your hard way or even complaining about it right?

To be honest, when people say that you're such a cry baby, a weakling, and stuff, i think the opposite.
You, who never really told the hardship of your trainee days, it shows how you trying so hard to look strong and collected.
If you're such a weakling, why don't you strolling around and trolling about your 6 years of trainee days?

When people judged you that you're a Casanova, oh well, don't you just being so adorable? keke

There are a lot of things i treasure from you.

For being so seemingly innocent

For being so close to God

For being so sincere to anyone

For being brave to cry (lol)

For putting your best in anything

For being born to this world

Then for being my inspiration

오빠, 생일축하해요!

행복 합시다

사랑해요

04042011 :)

give me another promises

2011-03-31T01:17:00.000-07:00

well, what a lame+cheesy tittle. inspired byRanti's "Lihat Aku Saja", versi gue, buat seorang di masa lalu. uhuk.

dear you,

apa kabar? tau ga udah berapa lama kita ga ngomong secara langsung? hampir 2 tahun, dan terkahir kali kita ngomong, ada yang nangis :p haha. sampe sekarang pun masih ga bisa ngerubah subjek dari 'aku-kamu' ke 'gue-elo' atau semacamnya, subjek jadi hal yg tabu kan ya? mau ngomong aku kesannya gimanaaa gitu, mau ngomong gue ga tega :|
sebenernya bukan ga mau mulai semuanya dari awal lagi, kalo bisa i wish there is a reset button in our relationship so i can press it all over again. aku mau kita ngomong lagi, temenan, dan sewajarnya lah. tapi, aku gatau gimana cara mulainya. jujur, kita jadi canggung satu sama lain. gatau mau ngomong apa. aku iri sama orang yang masih bisa berhubungan baik sama mantannya :(
1 tahun 8 bulan, aku ngehargain semuanya kok. cuma pengen kamu tau aja, aku nyesel semua hal itu terjadi, tapi aku ga nyesel pernah kenal kamu :) semua janji itu manis, dan mungkin kalo takdir kita bilang buat bareng, aku yakin kok kamu orang yang bisa nepatin janji. sayang, jalan kita beda.
maaf kalo aku pernah jadi halangan terbesar di hidup kamu. i tend to make trouble for my loved ones.
terakhir, aku punya wish buat kamu : be happy with her. treat her like she's the best you ever found. treasure her. fulfill your promises to her :D

you and your sweet promises,

were the rainbow and butterfly in my life.

but life isn't always rainbow and butterfly right?

you're never wrong, neither i am

time decided that you should leave

and those promises were subjects to be forgotten

we should move on

you did

and i try to

give me another promises next time

not about happily ever after or whatnot

just

that we'll be alright

like those storm was never happen at all

that we're still know each other well

nightmare

2011-03-30T00:41:00.001-07:00

Urm, hi?

It has been 574613424 days since the last day I wrote up an update. Well, to be honest I've tried a few times to update. But I ended up deleted all the words I've typed up. Bangkit asked me to write the day I 'curhat' to him. Well sorry boy, I was lost for words. Haha.

Today, I felt like this is my not-so-luck day. Woke up with a lingering a so called nightmare. And ended up with a disappointing Chemistry's mark. Oh what a classic 'fuck my life' condition. It hasn't been midday when I felt like break down and wailing and whatnots.

A so called nightmare. Yeah. People may think that I am a freak for dreaming of my idol. But, yeah. Imma freak then.

In my dream, I feel like I was sitting on the pool side. And in a hotel to be exact. Well, I was seeing Hyuk (say hi to my bias) playing inside the pool. He wore a white-rimmes google (I tend to remember what did he wore everytime he comes to my dream), resting his chin on his folded arms on the pool side. He was talking to someone, to teach him how to swim. That certain someone (supposedly Hae) entered the pool too, and taught him some basics in swimming.
The moment he was in the pool, well me too. I watched him being taught how to swim when someone said 'that's not how you teach someone to swim. This how it works' and that guy pushed hyuk with all of his might inside the water. I was under the water too to see him. He was struggling, but hae just didn't pay any attention. He was keep strugling, and I was keep watching. But then I tried to grab him, that's the moment when hae realized what happen and brought hyuk to the pool side. He wasn't moving. I watched him. Then someone called for ambulance. I was still there watching him lied still, bundled with white towels. I was starting to get panic and looking for help. Then someone said the medic has came. We brought him to where the medic was, we walked through corridor (it looks more like labyrinth). I held him close, like real close. But then, when finally we placed him on the strecther, he was gone. Like really gone.

I was in a completely panic mode, frantically calling his name and stuff.

Then mommy woke me up. It was 5.30am already.

And school? Meh. Ny freaking chemistry mark :'(

Hurrrr, I'm going to write a one shot based on this dream.

Bye, xoxo

pilihan, memilih, dan dipilih

2010-11-22T01:44:00.000-08:00

hari ini pengumuman buat teman2 yang lolos dan layak jadi calon penerima PPKB UI. selamat! bohong kalo gue bilang gue ga iri sama sekali. gue akuin, gue iri sama mereka yang dapet kesempatan itu. sekali lagi selamat buat kalian semua ya guys!

tapi cerita ga berakhir di sini. hari ini juga ada dua temen gue yang imut-imut, yang kalo nangis membuat hati meringis, meneteskan air matanya. mereka adalah Dhani dan si adik universal, Intan. mereka nangis bukan karena dapet PPKB nya kok, bukan. tapi karena jurusannya. dua makhluk imut ini begitu semangat ingin menyusul kak Juni yang sudah anteng di FKUI sebelah melalui PPKB taun kemarin.

sayangnya, cuma ada 1 orang yang bisa.

jadi, Intan sepertinya sudah mundur dari medan perang. yang sekarang masih onfire adalah Dhani, melawan Umar si pria OSN itu. semoga semuanya dapet yang terbaik ya teman :)

itulah conton dari orang yang dipilih dan punya pilihan, tetapi masih belum bisa memilih.

kembali ke diri gue.
halo?
...
.....
........
.............-_______-"

oke, berbicara masalah pilihan. Bapake udah ngasih lampu kuning saat gue nanya masalah masuk UI (sesuai almamater /plak). 'kalo bisa jangan' itu kata beliau. singkat padat jelas dan memang kena. oke, sebagai anak yang mencoba menjadi anak yang baik gue hanya manggut-manggut sambil megangin brosur fakultas-fakultas UI yang gue comot dari Bedah Kampus hari Sabtu kemarin.
hematnya gue mikir, gue sendiri emang ga tau dan ga yakin gue mau milih jurusan apa dan dimana. jadi, dari pada gue asal aja seruduk sana sini tanpa tujuan jelas, yang penting gue disebut 'mahasiswa', lebih baik nurut sama maunya orangtua kan? (kaaaaan)

dan, sesuai doktrin ortu sejak gue bahkan belum mikir mau masuk SMA mana, STAN jadi prioritas utama gue. niat udah bulat, insya Allah yakin. insya Allah mau berjuang mati-matian demi ini.

tapi,

gimana kalau gue ga bisa masuk ini sekolah? (naudzubillahi min dzalik! :c )

pilihan lain masih ada buat gue. STIS dan AMG. sebenernya Bapake maunya ke imigrasi, sayangnya, gue berkacamata jadi ga mungkin bisa lolos. sooooo, pilihan gue ada 3. dan semuanya bakal gue anggap sama seriusnya dan sama kadar perjuangannya. ALLAHU AKBAR!

sebetulnya, gue bener-bener tergoda buat daftar PMDK IPB. siapa sih yang gamau ngurangi beban belajar? seengganya kalo gue udah punya kursi aman, tinggal mati-matian demi UN kan?
tapi.....kali ini gue mikir dari kemungkinan terbaiknya.

"gimana kalo gue diterima?"

ya, gimana kalo gue diterima? bisa ga gue mempertanggungjawabkan kesempatan itu? kalo gue daftar, diterima, dan ngebuang kesempatan itu gitu aja, ada berapa orang yang gue rugiin?
satu hal,

jangan pernah lakukan hal yang tak bisa kamu pertanggungjawabkan kelak

itu yang ada di otak gue. gambling. yah namanya juga hidup, probabilitas di sana sini. emang gaada salahnya mencoba, tapi masa depan bukan buat dicoba-coba kan? apalagi kalo langkah ini juga ada imbasnya ke hal yang lain. y/y?

pada akhirnya gue memutuskan,
belajar. mati-matian. buat. STAN. STIS. dan AMG

bismillahitawakaltualallah....
semoga pilihan ini yang terbaik, saya gak salah memilih, dan saya jadi orang yang dipilih ataupun terpilih.
amin!

to think and to feel

2010-11-19T05:32:00.000-08:00

well, kali ini saya ga pengen ribet-ribet mikirin vocab dan structure yang ujung-ujungnya belum tentun bener. saya mau ngomong masalah perasaan.

seperti yang orang-orang tau (dan gue sendiri sadari), gue kebanyakan menghabiskan waktu ber-fangirling sejak gue gak punya pacar lagi, it means around 1 year had passed. yah, terkadang gue ngerasa iri sama orang-orang wajar di luar sana yang bisa dengan santainya move on dan suka lagi sama orang lain, pdkt, lalu jadian lagi. sedangkan gue? hell no.

bukan berarti gue kehilangan selera atas cowok lokal dan ngimpi punya pacar oppa ganteng asli korea, ngga, gue ga semuluk-muluk itu. gue udah beberapa kali kok suka sama cowo lokal, pernah juga pdkt, tapi....yah mungkin memang bukan jalan gue kali ya haha.

akhirnya hidup gue dari naik ke kelas XI emang dihabiskan untuk pacaran ama dvd korea dan buku pelajaran. udah itu aja. suka ama orang pun cuma sekilas aja, ga pernah ngerasa bener-bener pengen deket sama orang 'itu'.

tapi gue ngerasa beda di kelas XII ini.

well, seharusnya gue lagi fokus-fokusnya belajar, pacaran ama buku, bercinta ama soal, sibuk ngapelin TO sana-sini. tapi? ngga buat gue. oke gue masih sesibuk anak kelas XII pada wajarnya, belajar, TO dsb. tapi, there was a spark that has been turned into a flame. lol so cheesy.

yup, he was the one. ga bakal lah gue sebut namanya. panggil saja...SCM? yah mungkin kekerenan, tapi setidaknya dia emang punya kesamaan ama bang Changmin.

jadi intinya, awalnya cuma karena becanda, eh gue jadi beneran ada crush ama si SCM ini. awalnya gue anggep lucu-lucuan aja, seiring berjalannya waktu kan kita saling tambah kenal. gue ga sadar, suka-sukaan gue yang tadinya cuma becanda, eh jadi kerasa lebih. mulailah gue bergalau ria karena kebanyakan mikir.

setiap kalo gue mikirin si SCM ini, Hyukjae kalah. super junior lewat. dbsk dilibas. gue bener-bener fokus, jadi ga nafsu fangirling dan semacamnya. sumpah ini orang sakti parah, dan gue sakit parah, sampe bisa ngerasa gini

event-event yang ada bukannya mengalihkan pikiran dan fokus gue dari si SCM ini, yang ada bikin perasaan makin menjadi-jadi. dan gue juga ga habis fikir, apa dia emang tipe orang yang 'manis' ke siapapun, ataukah......forget it. pada akhirnya gue sadar (atau lebih tepatnya membuat diri gue sadar) kalo dia emang 'MANIS' ke semua orang.

saat gue bisa ngontrol perasaan, tibalah kabar yang bikin gue kaya disiram air kulkas sebaskom. dia lagi suka sama cewe lain. DEM (ala prabu). di bibir gue senyum, seneng malah. tapi hati campur aduk. ada bagian yang bilang 'that's it, stop dreaming and back to reality' dan yang lain bilang 'poor you, but liking him means no harm la'.

akhirnya setelah gue bertapa dengan mikir sambil senantiasa ngerjain TO matematika, gue nemu 1 kesimpulan, bahwa sukanya dia ama cewe lain itu justru nolong gue. gimana kalo geu terus-terusan suka sampe ga sempet mikirin hal lain lagi? kejadian itu ngebuat gue ngurangin kadar suka gue. and it worked. lebih ampuh dari yang gue fikir loh! ampuh!

dengan ikhlas dan perlahan gue pun mundur teratur dan memilih untuk mengedepankan soal-soal yang insya Allah akan memudahkan gue di hari ujian kelak.

dan lucunya, gue masih seneng kalo dia berinteraksi ama gue. too much, but it's all i can achieved.

ah, sometimes what i want the most is just the thing that too good to be true...

2011

2010-11-19T03:59:00.000-08:00

2011

2011 is such a meaningful year for me. This is my class of. This is the year when i'll be graduated from high school and start a new journey in university, college, academy, or institute. This is the year where i'll face a lot of tests, national exam, entrance tests and stuffs. This is the year where basically i'll decide my future. Picking the right faculty and school.

talk about my class, Holland Bakrie, or, XII IPA 4

honestly, the moment when Tania called me and told me that we were place at this class, i'm a lil bit....scared? because last year this class is well known as the best class of 2010 (at least for me). it burdened me, to think that i've to be survive inside this class with hell a lot smarties. OG. but time passed and i learned and being inside this class isn't that bad. <3

and now....my target.

well, first off all i have to survive from UN. Heavens know that my next goal is to be accepted at STAN (amin ya Allah!), and it means the average must be 7,0 or above. hope that with enough exercises and try-outs will help me enough.

then, STAN?

STAN 2011,
here i comes

i really wish i could attend this school, really
ideky but since my parents always told me to since i was in junior high school, unconsciously i was deeply motivated to attend this school.

and the rests are still mysteries.

i also want to attend IPB, UI, STIS, and AMG.
yeah yeah, hope i'll get some enlightening before the time comes.

Korean Day's Out

2010-09-14T23:11:00.000-07:00

hello hello hello!!

kemarin gue, tatia,sarah,ranti,dhani, dan ami berkelana ke tempat2 yang berbau korea. tujuan utama gue : berburu oppa oppa ganteng. ahaha. gue gamau menceritakan perjalanan panjang kita menuju tujuan pertama, Pang Pang Noraebang, karena terlalu melelahkan.

Sampai di Pang Pang Noraebang, gue dan tatia langsung excited karena akhirnya kita bisa makan Kuenku lagi!!! ahaha. akhirnya saat tatia dhani ami berburu es krim, gue ranti dan sarah udah berada di dalem ruangan karaoke nya dan BINGUNG mau nyanyi apa. well, semua ditulis dalam hanggul. mulai dari song list sampe teksnya. akhirnya pilihan pertama kita jatuh ke Lucifer-SHINee. demi apapun gaada satupun lirik lagu ini yang gue apal kecuali 'HER WHISPER IS THE LUCIFER~~~' akakaka. Dari Lucifer, kita beranjak ke lagu-lagu lainnya, hmm yang gue inget adalah Bonamana (gue nyanyi sambil ngedance loh wuakakakaka), Mirotic (YAY FOR THIS SONG), Hurricane Venus, Bad Girl Good Girl, Sorry Sorry, Can't Let You Go Even I Die, Again and Again, Gee, Genie, Lupin, Stand By Me, No Other, Nu Abo, Marry U, Ring Ding Dong, Neorago, Man Man Hani, I Don't Care, Heartbreaker, Lies, Tell Me Goodbye, dan ditutup dengan Shock-Beast. Haha maap yak ingatan gue terbatas. Gue merasa paling berhasil di lagu Neorago, No Other, dan Can't Let You Go Even I Die. Neorago dan No Other karena gue emang hampir hafal lagu ini (gue ngerap di No Other. kyaaaaak -fanning herself-), dan untuk lagunya 2AM itu sebenernya gue cuma hafal reffnya aja (gue ngapalin pas ngelamun di auvi wakaka), tapi ternyata.....GUE BISA BACA HANGGUL SAAT LAGU ITU JALAN!!! gue merasa bangga dan berhasil TT^TT.

Selesai karaokean, 2 jam ya guys, kita keluar dan ternyata hujan. Nyeh. Tapi gue sama sarah masih penasaran sama Wijaya Mart, supermarket korea itu. Setelah ngelilingin Wijaya Center, ternyata tatia menemukan K-mart, dan itulah dia. Di situ Sarah beli minuman lotte yang ada Daesung di kalengnya! ahaha. Dan di supermarket itu juga ada food stall nya gitu. Ada ramen, ddokboki, odeng, kimbap, dkk. Di sini Ami beli odeng.

Selanjutnya kita ciao ke Toreore. Dhani ngajak jalan kaki, tapi ternyata.... ALAMAK JON JAUHNYAAAA. ternyata Toreore itu adanya di depan STIP, dan itu jauh ya dari Grand Wijaya Center -__-. Dan sampai di sana... GA ADA DDOKBOKI DAN KIMBAP DAN RAMEN DAN UDON NYAAA. Tatia pun kehilangan kesabaran. Akhirnya gue ama Sarah nyaranin kita ke Mu Gung Hwa, another korean mart. Dari depan Toreore kita berenam naik taksi deh tuh ke Mu Gung Hwa.

Ternyata letaknya di dalem komplek gitu, dan emang gabisa pake kendaraan umum kayanya. Kita keliling2, dan nemu food stall kaya yang k-mart sebelumnya. Disini gue tatia dhani makan odeng. Lapernya nampol men. Bahkan disini kaya ada food courtnya gitu, kecil sih. Akhirnya gue dhani tatia ami sarah patungan beli ramyun dan ddokboki. Ini dia:

(maaf, kamera hp saya 3.2 MP tp tetep aja gembelan)

Kenyang makan, kita muter2 ga jelas deh di supermarket itu. Sarah nyari busyo busyo buat kinati, tp gaada yang ada muka jonghyun nya haha. Akhirnya tatia dhani ranti berniat buat masak makanan korea sendiri. Pilihan mereka jatuh untuk bikin ramyun dan kari. Gue hanya menyemangati karena duit gue udah tiris >< Keluar dari Mu Gung Hwa, udah jam 6 lewat, gelap parah, dan hujaaaaan. Udah pasti susah deh nyari taksi. Tapi pada akhirnya ketemu juga. HAAAAH. Kita naik taksi sampe Kp. Melayu lalu pergi ke rumah masing2.. Tapi sumpah. Kaki gue pegel mampus semalem -_-

Ohya, Pang Pang Noraebang itu di Grand Wijaya Center, Blok F nomer 48. di Jl. Wijaya 2. Kalo dari Blok M naik Metro Mini 610, dan rajin2 liat ke kiri.

K-Mart letaknya ga terlalu jauh dari Pang Pang Noraebang. Tanya satpam juga paling tau. Pokonya kalo keluar dari Pang pang Noraebang, jalannya ke arah kanan ya, keluar Wijaya Centernya dulu.

Toreore di Jl. Wijaya 1, tp gue ga saranin ke sono. Cuma ada ayam goreng.

Mu Gung Hwa adanya di Blok S, Jl. Senayan no. 43. Gue sangat saranin ke sini. Seru soalnya.

Buat harga, karaoke di Pang Pang Noraebang 1 jamnya 120rb, berhubung kemarin masih liburna jd belum berlaku happy hour 1 jam gratis 1 jam. Es krim antara 9rb-15rb,tapi kalo beli di Mu Gung Hwa lebih murah, es krim yg biasanya 9000 cuma 6000 di sana. Buat makan, odeng ada yang 5000, 7000, dan 8000. Ramyun 1 porsi 25.000, tp itu banyak loh. Sepanci kecil. Ddokboki 1 porsinya 30.000. Banyak juga kok.

Tapi pada akhirnya perburuan oppa oppa ganteng gue gagal, ga nemu oppa ganteng -__-

i don't even...

2010-09-08T06:13:00.000-07:00

Title: Lee Hyukjae

The one that will laugh until he fell is called Lee Hyukjae,
The one that will cry until he has no more image left is called Lee Hyukjae,
The one that sees dancing as his life is called Lee Hyukjae,
The one that will give it his all for his friends is called Lee Hyukjae,
The one with a child-like soul is called Lee Hyukjae.

The Lee Hyukjae that is always smiling actually feels insecure,
So he made a promise with us to only say it once,
The Lee Hyukjae that always cries is actually very strong,
So we never heard of the hardtimes during trainee period from him,
The Lee Hyukjae that is always hyper is actually afraid of being alone,
So he always does his best to treasure everyone around him,
The Lee Hyukjae that is very silly has a very delicate heart,
So he always felt that he didn’t give enough to his members,
The Lee Hyukjae that will cry when he is happy,
What that Lee Hyukjae wants is actually very simple,
A stage, fans and friends and he can be satisfied.

Lee Hyukjae has a simple growth,
One Junsu, One Donghae, One Sungmin and one SJ is enough to say it all,
Lee Hyukjae’s brain(thinking) is very simple,
Happiness and Blissed is enough to fill it all up,
Lee Hyukjae’s heart is very simple,
There is only Forgive, Forget and Endure.

Everything about Lee Hyukjae is very simple, but is enough to let us remember it with our everything,
But we not know what pain is hidden behind that simple story,
How can it not be tiring that dark entertainment biz,
Our Lee Hyukjae only showed us the very best,
Lee Hyukjae, you are very strong actually, right?
Or else how did you managed to endure 6 years of trainee period?
Our Lee Hyukjae, actually you are very fragile/delicate,
Or else why is that part of your heart so easily being touched?

That Lee Hyukjae is always touching us with his unique style,
That Lee Hyukjae just have that ability to let us smile and cry,
Looking at that dorkish you,
Thinking whether you are truely happy,
Looking at that you with the silliest smile ever,
Is there any trace of tears that you wept secretly without letting us know,
Looking at the serious you,
Thinking if you are actually having a hard time,
Looking at the you that is always being tricked,
Thinking if that pure soul of yours has ever been hurt,
Thinking, and thinking… Just smiling like that,
My mouth is saying “stupid boy”, but my tears just keep flowing.

So Lee Hyukjae,

If you are not happy, can you tell us?
If you are tired, can you rest for a while?
If you have been hurt, can you blow a temper too?

As compared to someone who wants to see you smile,
We are more than willing to be that someone who can cry with you and comfort you,

Never ever forget Lee Hyukjae, just like we will never forget ourselves,

Monkey?
Jewel?
Royal Highness (Chinese ELFs nickname of him)?

The cuteness of a Monkey, shining like a Jewel with the air of a Royalty, that’s why we all love you.
And throwing away the shine of a star,
What we treasure the most is the pureness in Lee Hyukjae,
The silly smile on screen,
The craziest idea on reality,
And even these un-noticeable personality in him makes us want to know him more,
From trainee Lee Hyukjae until the shining Lee Hyukjae on stage,
No one will ever doubt what difficulties he ever faced,

While everyone is changing to suit and accomodate the entertainment world,
He is still using the silly way of Lee Hyukjae to walk his own way,
Can imagine how difficult the process is.
But he never gave up,
Because this is Lee Hyukjae, ain’t it?

Can cry because of his members,
And never ever thought that maybe he can be more selfish,
Even if this is the case,
There are still people that say,
“Lee Hyukjae you should be more close with Lee Donghae”,
“Lee Hyukjae you should treat Sungmin better”,
“Lee Hyukjae how could you replace Junsu in your heart?”,

Really want to tell you that if you are selfish and think of youself just for once,
We will not blame you,
If you have to forget the pain, forgive and finds it hard one day,
We will be with you,
Our heart hurts because of your silly-ness, your stupid-ness and the stubborness in your heart.

You treasure Kim Junsu, your childhood friend,
You treasure Lee Sungmin, the one who grew with you,
You treasure Lee Donghae, the one who was with you through thick and thin,
You treasure the members with you always,
But you forget to treasure Lee Hyukjae.

The one who gave up 3 chances of debut because of Kim Junsu,
The one who doesn’t like Seafood but bought Seafood for Lee Donghae,
The one who is stingy but promised to buy expensive gift for Lee Donghae,
The one that doesnt manage your cyworld but told Lee Donghae that you will always be there when he needed you the most,
The silly boy that always give Lee Donghae all the sense of securities in the world,
The one that took the public bus just to send Lee Sungmin home
The one that stayed up all night just to write a birthday song for leader Teuk,
The one that worries so much for Kangin but couldn’t say a thing,
The one that always doesnt’ care about his image in SJ shows,
The one that cry for members, cry for success, but never cry for himself,

Actually, Kim Junsu has Kim Jaejoong, you need not worry about him,
Actually, Lee Sungmin has Kim Youngwoon, he can protect him,
Actually Lee Donghae has Kim Heechul, he will take care of him,
Please love and take care of yourself more.

Everyone uses the word “Silly”, “Dorkish” and “Cry-baby” on you,
But those who knows you well will say,
“Lee Hyukjae isnt silly, he is using his eyes to see the pretty world fully”,
“Lee Hyukjae isnt dorkish, he is using the simplier way to treat everything”,
“Lee Hyukjae is no crybaby, he is just so innocent that he doesn’t know how to protect himself”.

Please remember these people are always behind you:
Teuk Omma, the one that always brings you along no matter where,
Heechul, the one that still won’t led you astray,
Hangeng, the one who can’t really speak (korean) well but says he loves you,
Yesung, the one that always complain that you dont visit him,
Kangin, the one that always bully you but treats you the best,
Shindong, the one that says he is the closest with you on screen,
Sungmin, the one that always stands besides you,
Donghae, the one that life isn’t complete without you,
Siwon, the one that always catches your tears or you,
Ryeowook, the one that always worries you can’t eat well and cry,
Kibum, the one that gently blow your eyes for you,
Kyuhyun, the one that shouts for you to come back,
ELFs, the one that is ALWAYS supporting you forever,
Eunhyuk’s fans, the one that wants to cry and smile with you always.

Don’t always give all the happiness to us,
We wants to wipe your tears for you too.
Lord’s child Lee Hyukjae — Wish that you will be happy forever.

Credit: LH97 @ Eunhyuk’s baidu
Translated by: minoko2440 @ sapphirepearls.com
Reup/Shared: minoko2440 @ sapphirepearls.com
Take out with all the credits and do not add your own

these are the things that i've alaways been treasuring from him. being the silly he was, he's way too smart to hide all of his insecurities, hurt, tears, and more. it may sounds silly, but i know, it's merely a mask he's always put in front of his face.

Inferiority

2010-09-07T19:39:00.000-07:00

Uh,hai people!

Yesterday I was out of the house for the whole day. I've left on 8 am, to school. Doing some decoration project for the upcoming Bazkom. Then on 10 am, me, Ghina, Asti, and Tasha went to Perpusnas to do our Math paper (which undoubtedly, still unfinished~). And, because me, Ghina, and Asti weren't fasting, we went to KFC to have our lunch. Kekeke~

And at KFC, this conversation occured:

Me: Iya, kalo dibandingin sama boyband lain tuh ya SuJu paling banyak kalahnya, ya umur lah ya tinggi badanlah, ya BMI lah
Asti&Ghina : Iya, emang tuh haha.
Me: Coba ya, tinggi badan mereka tuh pada imut2 semua, coba deh, paling berapa orang sih yang diatas 180 tingginya?
Ghina : Siapa aja emang?
Me & Asti : Siwon (angkat jari 1), Kyuhyun (angkat jari 2)......... UDAH GAK ADA LAGI YANG DI ATAS 180 CUMA BERDUA
Bertiga : HUAHAHAHAHAH

See?
Super Junior's inferiority. I still remember when Changmin said he was pissed off everytime Kibum talks about his big face. And all he had to do to encounter that was just stand in front of Kibum and show him how ~tall~ he was. LOL.

And i don't know why i become this incoherent. Blame my hunger~

OHAI, PEOPLE!

2010-09-02T04:41:00.000-07:00

HELLO, PEOPLE~!

Happy holiday! Today is my last day of school. Uuuuuh i'm way too happy for my own good :3 No more wake up early and burnt under the sun~~ 8D

I miss writing, seriously. School has been really hectic lately. Though i have enough time to write, i never have enough time to think, and vice versa. My idea to write an EunHae had been procrastinated for ages. ;____; i feel bad about it.

Being a 12th grader. Uh. It just like I've always imagined. School's suck, for short. Sleep deprived and so on. Stacked paper and assignments. Non-stop tests (and remedial). Scolding, and thought. Hhhh. I'm 16 going 17 but i feel so much older inside.

I've decided my choices. First, I'll try to get IPB's PMDK. Then, I'll try STAN. Last, SIMAK UI. And if i'm not that lucky, SMPTN.

I've never imagined if i'm not attending government's college/univ/academy ;_________;

I just think i don't have enough confidence.

too much to say

2010-07-10T06:09:00.000-07:00

hello people, and, happy birthday to Kim Heechul :)

wish you all the best, Heenim.
no matter what people said about you, all those bad remarks toward you,
i feel SuJu's not complete when you're not around
there's no one would let out a snarky remark, though Kyuhyun does sometimes
there's no one as bitchy as you LOL
and there's also no one as cool as you 8D

alright, that's all for Heenim. LOL.

/sigh.
Lee Hyukjae,
this person bugging me again lately. The incident about he broke his own hand and so on. I can't take it. I lurked around through myeunhyuk.com and so. Looked for his old photo. And it broke my heart a little.
And today on MuCore, he didn't smile at all
I know, he smiled just a little on No Other performances, if you take other members as comparison. Even HEENIM, yes that certain Kim Heechul smiled more than him.
But today just as sucks as hell, he shared no smile.
idky, at first i didn't really realised it, but then Asti pointed it out. And i said to myself like 'Oh hell yeah'
Did someone killed Choco?
I saw no trance of enjoyment on his face.
He did smile a little on his rap part, but it didn't even reached his eyes,it didn't even make a curve on his face.

What? Why?
Are you feeling tired with this all? Is it way too tiring for you? Do you feel insecure? Is there something bugging you?
I keep asking these questions inside my hollow mind.

Earlier today, and yesterday, i asked myself.

what's the point of loving, protecting, cherishing, and keeping someone who's 5278 kilometers or 3280 miles or 2850 nautical miles away from you?
when he doesn't even know who you are?
when he doesn't even realized the city you live in?

but i can't help

I've been through things like this since i was only a 5th grader. It's been 6 years. Thanks God i've tasted that kind of 'real' love. And it only left me broken and sad.

i know i am freak.

Dream part 2

2010-06-19T19:15:00.000-07:00

20.06.2010

uh, Sunday morning people. Just've woke up a while ago. and.... TADAAAAA, i was dreaming about that certain anchovy, again :)

in my dream, it felt like they held a fan meet about victory Korea, because he looked like this in my dream:

yeah, red shirt red cap :)

it was like i came to their fanmeet, which unbelievably not that crowded, it was on second floor, he sat there with eeteuk, sungmin, yesung, shindong. and i did realize that i was paying too much attention at him. LOL. i was standing at the end of the room, looking at him and so on. i just paid a little attention at sungminnie :3. ugh a little abstract. i love the previous dream better ~~which has kissing scene~~ :D

Korean Name

2010-06-19T07:09:00.000-07:00

Random post, got it from my facebook inbox.

1. Your first name is your last number of your year of birth:

0: Park
1: Kim
2: Shin
3: Choi (oh yeah, i'm Minho's and Siwon's dongsaeng)
4: Song
5: Kang
6: Han
7: Lee
8: Sung
9: Jung

2.Your Middle name is your month of birth:

1: Yong
2: Ji
3: Je
4: Hye
5: Dong
6: Sang
7: Ha
8: Hyo
9: Soo
10: Eun
11: Hyun
12: Rae (gah, DNW)

3.Your last name is your date of birth

1: Hwa
2: Woo
3: Joon
4: Hee
5: Kyo
6: Kyung
7: Wook
8: Jin
9: Jae
10: Hoon
11: Ra
12: Bin
13: Sun
14: Ri
15: Soo
16: Rim
17: Ah
18: Ae (rae-ae? screeeew that)
19: Neul
20: Mun
21: In
22: Mi
23: Ki
24: Sang
25: Byung
26: Seok
27: Gun
28: Yoo
29: Sup
30: Won
31: Sub

CHOI RAE AE?

uh oh.

안녕하세요,

최래애입니다 :D

.jealousy

2010-06-18T03:20:00.000-07:00

EDITED

well, yes I AM

let's meet these lucky girls.

-Luna f(x)

his birthday bash :(

On his birthday, she was the one who bought the cake for him. And she sent a birthday card and so on. Huh, jealous~~~ >:(

-Hyoyeon SNSD

well, i found no picture of them together :smirk:

i found it -edit

People said that she's his ex. Well, i do believe. They're both dancing machine for their respective group :sigh:. I've saw them stand next to each other almost everytime when Super Junior and SNSD occupy the same stage together. Honestly, i'm jealous over her very much, more than Luna and IU.

-IU

Oppa, why did you look so happy? Oppa..... ;___;

WELLLLLL, HE ADMIRES HER. WELLL IT'S NO ONE'S FAULT. WELLLLL I ENVY HER. OH WELLLL >:(

:sigh:

things were much easier with Min.

Never hurt me.

BUT ONLY THIS DID

asdadakjal;fjkajfhjdfh

yeah, i wish

my dream (oh well only dream)

2010-06-16T21:36:00.000-07:00

16.06.2010

i woke up at 3 am for having meal, because i was going to fasting that day. i was eating with my bro, he was watching Brazil vs north Korea. then i brushed my teeth and went back to the bad. it was around 3.30 am.

i don't know if such a short nap would deliver you such a nice dream...

i was dreaming about that certain anchovy, yes i dream about him. (well, it startled me a bit when i woke up because it took a while since i fell for changmin and dreamed about him. gee.)

in my dream, we were walking on the side walk in front of my school, we walked to perpusnas' direction. he was challenged by his friends to hold a girl's hand, which there were only me and one other girl, his friend held that girl's hand, and oh-my-God he held my hand. i remembered clearly that i was like 'omo omo omona~, i feel so blessed!' when he finally linked his hand with mine. he was wearing almost the same outfit like this :

but in my dream it looked like a shirt than a jacket, and he wore a white tee inside

then we walked together, arm in arm, to talang street (LOL). and suddenly we were in a karaoke room. we sat next to each other, my hand was still with him, and then he leaned forward then he kissed me.

YEAH, HE FUCKING KISSED ME.

on the lips.

ON MY DAMN LIPS.

sadfskfakfjkfjksfhjfg

:faints: :revives:

i never thought that i would dream about him. and to the point that he kissed me, it scared me a bit.

am i way too obsessed with him? goddammit.

i never dreamed about changmin that i could remember until the next day. but it has been a day and it's still so clear on my mind :sigh:

이혁재,

당신은 내 마음을 훔친거야..

(i don't give a damn if it's a wrong translation.

blame google translate.)

Steroids.

2010-06-14T07:46:00.000-07:00

Steroids. Steroids? Why did i write about steroids?

Well, blame KBS World's Vitamin today. They talked about it in today's episode. It told about a model, his name was Minho (heck, why should MINHO among all of those name. My Minho~). He was chosen as a model in a magazine, but with one agreement, that he should buffed up his body before the photo season. This Minho had few habit. First, he loved wine. Second, he overtrained. Third,he consumed too much supplement. Last, he lost his weight drastically.

Hell, suddenly i was thinking about Hyukjae D: Yes, Hyukjae! He gained his muscle way too fast for me. meh :/ And i don't know if he used streoids or no (i don't think so, RLY!!).

UGH.

too much-

.monday

2010-05-24T04:42:00.000-07:00

(lack of tittle, i'm so sorry)

speaking of monday... well as the very first day in a week, it should be a nice one.
but not for me i guess.
today i have about 5 assignments to collect, and a chem test. oho. i'm practically doomed. BAM!
not to mention the probs in home, scratch that, hell to be exact. ah. i have no time. restless oh restless~~

okay, i have one thing that keep nagging me.
LABYRINTH

err, blame dying young.

Eunhyuk's twitter and Yunho's HTTG OTL

2010-05-19T03:17:00.000-07:00

Hello people, have a nice Wednesday? Or not? Well, somehow i felt both, happy and a little bit miserable.

Firstly, happy.
OMO *jumps* HYUKJAE *jumps* NOW *jumps* HE *jumps* HAS *jumps* TWITTAAAAAAAH BEYBEH!

click on him to follow him! XD

I've followed him for sure (lol) and my first tweet for him was :

LMAO LMAO SO LAME~~

Well, when i arrived on, i logged on, and visited twitter thru PC, and i saw this:

geez, it's a Sapphire Blue sea!

Okay,now the second.

HELL WHAT? HTTG WOULD BE BROADCASTED IN INDONESIA! IN INDOSIAR TO BE EXACT.
AJSDHASFHSFHAHLASFLKF
I HATE TO SEE IT, WELL IT'LL INCREASE YUN'S POPULARITY HER.
BUT HE'LL GAIN 'ALAY' AS HIS FANS
LAJDSFKAHFKJHFF
CAN'T ACCEPT IT

OH MY YUNHO APPA .... ;__;

.....i miss Jaejoong

2010-05-16T01:57:00.000-07:00

BoA : Ah Yunho! You look so great tonight! Omo~
Yunho : Ah yeah.. Thanks *smile*
Changmin : *glares* Don't you dare to seduce my appa! You're Jae umma best friend!

/sighs
I miss YunJae moment so much :(

Comeback Stage

2010-05-15T02:01:00.000-07:00

Well, yesterday and today i watched Super Junior's comeback stage on Music Back and Music Core and hell they looked so greaaaaaat! :D
And still, i was focused with Hyukjae~ LOL. I was screaming like there's no tomorrow when Hyuk did his solo dance then..... HE REVEALED HIS FUCKIN' ABS! adkadhsfjklhsfah;fdklj OH YEAH HIS ABS!
Overall, their performance considered as a success one for me, both of it. But for me they did it better on Music Core. Don't know why, though i watched it through streaming site, but it seems much better that on MuBank.

Ah hyukjae~~
i'm crazy over him *slapped by changmin

May's Wishlist

2010-05-04T08:39:00.000-07:00

And the wishlist of this month....

1. SURVIVE THRU SO MUCH TEST AND ASSIGNMENT ET CETERA ET CETERA
2. GIVE ME MY YEPPTIC BACK ;____;
3. 4-jib of Super Junior (me want Hyukkie)
4. Paradise Ranch ♥
5. Reebok neon blue shoes T_T
6. Hooddie come soon :D
7. ALL THE BEST :DD

The Precious Jewel Guy, Lee Hyuk Jae

2010-04-30T06:30:00.000-07:00

Erm, hello people :)

So here I go, another thing to write today is... Super Junior's dancing machine, Lee Hyukjae, or known as Eunhyuk. (Okay it's not like I'm betraying Changmin and turn from Mrs. Shim into Mrs. Lee or something, CHANGMIN IS STILL MY BIGGEST BIAS EVER FOR GOD'S SAKE!). It's just like I'm looking for some distractions whilst waiting for Paradise Ranch (that has been delayed again, OMFG I WANT CHANGMIN, I WANT HIM >:( argh)

Here is he..

omfg he's so cute :3

Lee Hyukjae, April 4th 1986.

Okay, first time I knew him, it's because he's Junsu's best friend, and there are so much facts about Junsu that mentioned him in it. I wasn't actually pay attention on him, you know I used to developing crush on Kyuhyunnie. LMAO.
I knew him more from Intimate Note. OMO I don't know that he was awkward with Heechul, despite the fact that Heechul loves to put a prank on him (which i just realized).
And I knew him more from EHB, he's just adorably cuteeee. cuteness overloaaad. LOL
He's good at dancing though, and his chest popping, omg i'll die in happiness XD
After all, he's known as an innocent boy with pure heart, ah. He's so nice! *biased*

I guess that's all? Okat that's all

xoxo
mrs. shim :DD

Always Keep The Faith, TVXQ

2010-04-03T19:56:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, April 3rd, Twitterland turned into a Cassiopeia's Red Ocean

#alwayskeepthefaith and TVXQ, both on 2nd and 10th

#alwayskeepthefaith on the first place

WE LOVE YOU TVXQ! ♥

And the trigger was Avex's news letter to Bigeast member, here's the e-mail :

Translation's here :

They said, pause. It wasn't stop nor disbandment. So Always Keep The Faith, right?

And FYI, due to Tohoshinki's inactivity, Bigeast had stopped the enrollment for new member.

Let's hope for the best :)

Wish List

2010-04-02T08:36:00.000-07:00

My wish list this April :

Goods

Tohoshinki Best Selection 2010 CD+DVD Version in nearest CD store
Converse All Star, Purple
Max socks
Red light stick
DBSK's t-shirt (any of them, colonize or chibi is okay)
MOAR FIC FROM ME

Non-Material

A good mid-term report
MY YEPP WILL BE ALRIGHT
PARADISE RANCH (ME WANT CHANGMIN FGS!!!)
Better life span *shrugs*
Inspirations and determination :)

May all come true, God ♥

A Superhero Trio

2010-04-02T04:28:00.000-07:00

hello people, with Buttercup here. LOL

I wanna introduce my superhero group that i've made with my lovely friends,

Mitta a.k.a Bubbles
and
Tika a.k.a Blossom

POWERPUFF GIRLS FTW ♥

Buttercup loves you guys, Bubbles and Blossom ♥♥♥ !

Star above the star

2010-03-31T08:32:00.000-07:00

And doesn't matter how hard i've tried too reach, it's just something i would never achieve...

hello people, here we go again with Mrs. Shim in da house ya! *slapped*

Seems like i've been in my cloudy state since a couple days ago, so tonight i'll write all my emo-ness down *sighs*

I'm not that girl, the kind one who absolutely remember the day she was falling for you
I'm just that junk, who got influenced easily without remembering any date or time , or an officially anniversary or else
The feel i got was the thing i always treasure, and i've been trying so hard to keep it up in me
It doesn't matter when i can't prove it to others, the only thing i care about just my own loyalty

And i am the one who know it well

well, it's just a matter of a fact i mean.

ah well i'm getting so random now.

How about telling you guys about my new fan-fic prompt?
Sounds great to me.

It started with a story of a freshly graduated, 23 y.o. Kim Junsu, who managed to built his own cafe, called 'Haengbok Cafe' (sounds cheap, but i want to keep Junsu's innocence~). He heired his parents furniture from their family resto, an old piano, the thing he can't even play. One day, a 24 y.o Park Yoochun, an insomniac pianist came over to his cafe and fell in love with the piano, he asked Junsu to sell it but all Junsu said was a big-big-big NO. Yoochun give up, and came over to the cafe every day only to play teh piano.
And in the other place, let's meet a 2.4 y.o doctor Kim Jaejoong a warm-hearted man, who loved his step-brother Shim Changmin, a 22 y.o with cumlaude in pure physic. and there is Jung Yunho, a new neighbor next to them, a 24 y.o lawyer.

Complicated huh?

I want to make a YunJae with a one-sided HoMin
(i hurt my hubby AGAIN)
*flails*

ah that's all i guess, by shoulder blade just aching.
bbye, love ya!

xoxo
mrs.shim ♥

A Tribute To Our Max, Uri Minnie :)

2010-03-29T05:17:00.000-07:00

Okay, another posting today :D
It's feel like i never doing something insane over Changminnie on this blog, so i'll do it now!
Let's start it!!

Shim Changmin's timeline

Was born with the name Shim Changmin on February 18th 1988, 5 am.
A baby boy, the first boy of Shim's family.

whadda cute boy ><>

growing up into an adorable lil boy...

ho shit, cuteness overload~~

(just skip until we could see him a right perspective, i don't want to be a pedophile instead)

alright, teenage boy is here~~

Audition era, he captured judges' ears with his voice.
and i believe THAT'S TRUE *biased*
See his face, it hasn't change till now i think, beside that melted away baby fat of course..kkkkk

HUG-2003

somehow i wished i could turned into a cat after i saw hug MV, God, how lucky that cat,
THAT CAT!
That bright smile, makes me want to join that cheerful grin everytime i see it :DD

2004

(hold your breath and mutter your curses under breath, thank you)

TRI-ANGLE ERA, DO YA WANNA SCREAM?
ME TOO BABE YAH!
i dunno maybe the hair stylist was craving over durian or else, but trust me, this was horrible -___-

2005

Rising Sun~ *changmin's style screaming* he was cute there, DAMN CUTE I MEAN lololol

2006

i wont say too much.
that mismatched eyes babe, OMFG, OMFG OMFG *dies*

2007

i tend to hate *mian* him at Paris, but somehow i love this picture so fucking much.
he looks.....gorgeous!

another 2007

five in the black concert. like usually, hate in on the first sight, but fall in love later. hem for this one i don't fall in love, i just stop to hate it. LOL

2008
*best meeen!*

his best era for God's sake.
i keep falling in love with him.
end of case

*another 2008*

GQ magazine. holy shinki, why don't you be a model min?
aish that smile~*nose bleed*

2009

miroticon

*&&q%&#(!)(#&*&* this is awesome
i was screaming the first time i saw this. hell yeah

secret code

okay shit damn oh hell this is fuckin good

end of 2009

i was like "GOD! why do You let him cut his hair off?????" when i saw that, but then
after i saw, this

"Thanks God, he's incredibly great"
roflmao

2010

me? over this picture?
ho shit i'm not a innocent anymore
he corrupted my mind, okay?

AND THIS PIC MADE ME SCREAMING
HELL YEAH SCREAMING
ON A GREEN COMPETITION VENUE
GOSH OH GOSH OH GOSSSSH *faints*

last, on March 27th 2010, This Is It concert
our little Minnie flied from Jeju right to Seoul
just to watched his appa, ahem, i mean hyung performance
whatta nice baby~~

psst, he cut his hair off again!

It's just wonderful to me, to saw him in the time line like this! LOL

RAR will be given if you ask me to :D

credits : on photo, google

hello, new world

2010-03-29T04:50:00.000-07:00

hello people, new layout FTW :DD

alright, gimme space to talk nawh, listeeeeeen to my speaking if you wish to, if you don't, so go away! LOL

alright people, how are you all? my last post supposed to be on....

that guy's birthday :D

and noe i'm back!
PARADISE RANCH a.k.a PARADISE MEADOW
a lotta things to talk about~ first of all, the thing i've been waiting for~~

(ho SH*T this fanart kills me, KILLS MEEEEH)

it said that PR would be on air on April 26th, 2010
22.00 pm on KBS2 (and i pray to my God that it'd be broadcated on KBSworld, AMIN)
but.... my friend Chloe told me that they procrastinated it! geeez i hate thaat DX

my first post today, BBS for another post~~

tadaimaaaaa

2010-02-03T02:23:00.000-08:00

hello people, i'm back XD

in the middle of weeks of exams, and much task and assignment, i made my perfect comeback kekekekeke. i brought my new fic, in ENGLISH. gosh, i made it! 4900 words, lame though -_____- but feel so glad to show it off XDDDDD.
comments are ♥ , but read it would be also appriciated!

and today,

HAPPY BIRTHDAY EVIL MAGNAE KYUHYUNNIE OPPA ♥

wish you all the blessed my (secret) hubby
*ducks as changmin bricked me*

alsoooo..
HAPPY BIRTHDAY KIM JOON OPPA ♥

xoxo

irmahermaniar, mrs shim ♥

[Fic] beyond eternity

2010-02-03T02:21:00.000-08:00

(x-posted to my LJ)
Tittle : beyond eternity
Rating : G
Pairing : slight YunJae and YooSu
Summary : “They said I’m the one who never have the pairings, is that the excuse you all left me?” The room still surrounded in silence.
A/N : un-betaed , i'm new though, so need a lot of help. my first fic ever ;D.

*
Changmin was drowning away in his slumbers when finally his cell phone rang and woke him up. He rubbed his eyes, but the other hand was searching his cell phone somewhere on his bed. The hand on his eyes told him that his fever wasn’t really left. It was still warm around his forehead.
“Yoobboseyo, hyung, you said today’s off. Anything I’m still off-still caught the cold. And now it’s 9 pm! ” he just started talk, after saw it was manager-ssi who called him up.
“Seoul International Hospital, now.” Manager’s voice seemed so dark and plain, careless about what he was fussing over.
“Wh.. why?” Changmin’s eyes all widened in fear.
“Just come here, quickly. But no over speed.” Manager-ssi hung up the call.
*
Changmin rushed in hospital’s hallway. And in the end he saw all the members’ closest relatives, parents, hyungs-noonas, dongsaengs. They all were all tearful, he still couldn’t understand. He also saw their manager leaned his back to the wall, with a puffy eye.
“Hyung.. What’s wrong?” he asked.
“Accident.” It was the single word that came out from the manager’s mouth, the he saw a ward’s door that wide opened, he stepped inside. And nothing he could do but stood-still, frozen, and for the very first time he felt, really felt, how the broken heart literally means. It was just like he heard his heart breaking into pieces and scattered on the floor.
“Hyung-deul, how dare you all.” He knew the tears waved inside his eyes, it burnt his eyes, in fact he still used the lenses.
He stood there, faced four life-less body in front of him, his beloved hyungs. He got nothing to say.
“They said I’m the one who never have the pairings, is that the excuse you all left me?” the room still surrounded in silence.
“Or because it was me who the fans want to leave when the rumor of Jaejoong-hyung’s exchange was all over the internet?” he sobbed, “or because I’m the youngest, I should be left behind?” he drowned in unbearable pain.
He knew the fever now burnt his head off, the headache now made a perfect comeback to his light head, and as he cried out loud he started losing all his strength.
“HYUNG! Answer me! I wanna gone with you all! Let me come with you all!” those were the last words Changmin yelled out loud before the vertigo hit him and got him into unconsciousness.
*
Slowly Changmin opened up his eyes, he was on his own bedroom in his family’s home. He watched his blank ceiling. He blinked, and tried to collect himself, organized to understand what happened. Then the door clicked, opened.
“Ah uri adeul, you’re awake?” it was his mom, came inside the room and sat on the edge of his bed.
“Ne omoni” he answered, his voice heard so hoarse. And as he saw the sadness on his mother’s eyes, he started to remembered.
“Will you come to the funeral?” she asked so carefully.
“Ehm yeah of course, is it today?” Changmin managed himself to get up and sat.
“Yeah, it’s on 10.”
“And what time is it now?”
“It’s 8 now. Okay, now take a bath, adeul. The breakfast ready down there, okay?” his mother ruffled his hair, he forced to smile as his mom was leaving.
The funeral just went in a split second for Changmin, since he was tear-less. Like a numb, or a stone statue, he stood there. His body attended the ceremony, but his thought was somewhere he didn’t even know.
After the funeral, he decided to visit their shared apartment. He wanted to gather all of his things, only his, not the things he shared with his hyungs. Then he would leave the apartment, back living in his parents’ home. He promised himself to bury all of their memories, leaving it all, now being all alone again. As he never know 4 of them before.
*
He felt all empty as he stepped in. The kitchen looked nothing without Jaejoong stood there with his pinky apron, the sound of crashing pan and spatula, and the smell of great food he cooks. The single couch seemed so hollow without Yunho sits there and fussing what’s on the news with crossed legs and a bottle of soft drink. The games corner spread an awkward silence when Junsu wasn’t linger there ,no out loud chaos from the game console ,or the dribbling soccer ball around the living room. And the piano, where Yoochun used to sit there composing great melody with him watched with smile, looked so all hollow.
Finally Changmin cried his heart out, he couldn’t bear the pain any longer, he wasn’t that strong, he used to be the youngest among the members, he fell to the ground, held his own body tight, as he could breaks easily. His own sobs choked him, he gagged, but he cried even louder. He lied on the floor, and by the time he couldn’t help himself to get himself into the bedroom, he slept on the floor. It was a restless sleep, just few hours after, he woke up. He blinked at the clock, it was 11 pm. He got up, a brilliant idea was show up inside his brain, just like a pop-up website. He walked towards Yoochun and Jaejoong’s used-to-be-room. The he sat on the edge of the bed that used to belongs to Jaejoong and Yoochun. He smiled as he opened the drawer next to the bed. He reached a bottle of sleeping tablet that was Yoochun’s. He smiled as he remembered that Yoochun only took it twice before whole band fussed over him to stop use sleeping tablet to get rid of his insomiac and Yoochun obeyed it, left almost a bottle full of it on his drawer.
Changmin took the cap off, and poured numerous of those tablets to his left hand. He got the cap on again, put it back inside the drawer, then smiled to himself.
“Okay hyung deul, just wait over me. See you soon.” He mumbled to himself. Just in a split second before he got the tablet inside his mouth, his head was harshly slapped.
“Babo!” he heard a familiar voice just next to him. All those tablets spread all over the floor. He turned his eyes to the left. He gasped as he saw a figure he had been missing so much. He was speechless, stared as his so-called-umma hyung, Jaejoong, and blinked his eyes.
“Hy.. hy.. hyung!” he exclaimed with a hoarse voice.
“What? Now let me asked you, WHAT THE HELL YOU ARE GOING TO DO? TOOK SLEEPING TABLET AS IT’S JUST A SWEETY CANDY BAR? You supposed to be the smartest, Shim Chang Min! But now you look such as a dumbass! That was the stupidest thing I’ve ever seen, Einstein!” Jaejoong looked much angry, as he emphasized those words toward Changmin.
Changmin stayed still, just blinked his eyes which started to glistened with tears. Just in a flash, he couldn’t hold any longer, he cried his heart out and hugged Jaejoong so tight.
“Hyung.. I miss you, miss you so bad. I love you hyung, very very very much. How did you dare leave me hyung!” the maknae spoke between his choking sobs. His tears stained Jaejoong’s shirt, but Jaejoong did nothing but ssh-ing him, comforted him, and tried to get him calm.
“Do you? You used to say that you don’t love me or other members since you’re the only straight man in this band huh?” Jaejoong teased him as his hand patted the younger’s back. His frozen hand sent a thrilling cold sensation into Changmin’s spine.
“I LOVE YOU AS HYUNG!” Changmin yelped, caused him gagged, coughed between his sobs.
“Sssh, easy baby. I love you too Minnie, my beloved baby. Sssh.” Jaejoong soothed Changmin’s hair. But then Changmin stood up, stared strangely at Jaejoong. And Jaejoong expression just said “what’s wrong?”
“Hyung, do you real? What are you exactly? Didn’t you…” Changmin couldn’t even finish his words. Jaejoong shrugged.
“Um, well I don’t know. Yeah I know I’m dead, I’ve watched my own funeral, with you looked like the dead one. But how could I appear here? I don’t know, it seemed like I was sleeping and then woke up just at the door, saw you almost swallow those silly tablet.” Jaejoong explained.
“So, is it makes sense if you are a…. ghost?” Changmin hold a firm grip on his emotion.
“Yeah, definitely maybe.” Jaejoong shrugged again then smiled. Changmin nodded his head, he even didn’t really give a damn whatever Jaejoong is, he just missed him and the rest of the band, and it was unbelievably great to see them again.
“Wow.” Changmin said that exclamation in a plain tone.
“Okay, so now let me cook you some food. When was the last time you eat Minnie?” Jaejoong stood up, grabbed Changmin’s arm and dragged him to the kitchen.
“Hm, yesterday? After funeral my mother forced me to eat those foods she made.” Changmin answered as he followed his hyung to the kitchen. Then he dragged a dinning chair a bit so he could watch his “umma” cooking.
“What? Do you on diet, skinny? You’re thin already, stop harming yourself, your given hot body, and start eat the food that I’ll cook for you! You were the eating monster, yet still the thinnest one. So if you don’t eat any, what you gonna be? Zombie? Or anything else you have considered? Beside, you just caught the cold and haven’t recovered yet!” Changmin used to hate if Jaejoong starts to fusses over like this. But now he realized how he loves it. He heard to all the noises Jaejoong made, by his mouth and by all the cook thingies.
Minutes passed, now Jaejoong brought his own made food right to the dining table, as Changmin got the chair back and faced his meal.
“Sour-sweet fried pork. You have nothing left on the refrigerator but this pork I’ve bought the day before I died.” Jaejoong sat next to Changmin, saw the youngest ate the meal with all of his heart.
“Tastes so good.” Said Changmin between his meals.
“As it should be. Don’t let your mother hear that.” Jaejoong laughed, still watched Changmin whose been eating those meal he cooked.
“Done with the meal? Or wanna more?” Jaejoong asked as he saw Changmin’s plate was quite cleaned up.
“No, that’s enough. Thanks hyung!” Changmin stood up, took the plate with him. Then as he did the dishes, he asked, “You’ll gonna leave me soon, hyung?”
“Hmm, molla.” From the corner of his eyes, Changmin could see Jaejoong shrugged.
“Hmm, arayo.” He’d done the dishes, then he took a tumbler from the refrigerator, and drank directly from the tumbler.
“Nasty.” said Jaejoong, then he left the kitchen and entered the living from. He sat on the couch, turned on the TV. Changmin joined him, sat next to him.
“Ah, I feel sleepy.” Said Changmin, leaned to Jaejoong’s shoulder.
“So sleep.” Jaejoong soothed the youngest boy’s hair, “you can sleep on my lap if you want to.”
“Uh-huh.” Changmin obeyed it, he settled on Jaejoong’s lap. For once in last 3 days, Changmin felt relief. “Don’t leave me hyung.” He mumbled, half asleep.
“Sorry, but I can’t. I should leave soon.” Jaejoong apologized, but Changmin had slept already.
*
Changmin woke up in the early morning, sun hadn't showing up yet. He rubbed his eyes, then he startled when he knew he wasn't on Jaejoong's lap, only a cushion held his head. He smiled. Then his phone rang.
“Changmin-ah, where are you?” it was his mother voice, it heard so anxious.
“I’m still on the apartment omoni.” He answered as he managed himself to get up. He massaged his temple lightly as he could barely feel the headache.
“When will you get home uri adeul?”
“I'm staying another night here mom. Just don’t worry okay?” Then he hung up the phone. He stood up and yawned. His body felt a little bit stiff after sleeping on the narrow couch. He walked to the roof. He closed his eyes and felt the morning breeze. Without his acceptation, the tears made their own way down along his high-boned cheeks. He just let it. But then the wind shed his tears away. Later, he heard a sound. It was Yunho, read a newspaper and leaned to the wall.
“Melancholy stroke in the morning huh?” Yunho teased him, smirked.
“Yah hyung! So it’s in age-order huh?” Changmin asked.
“What?”
“Yesterday was Jaejoong’s turn, now it’s yours?”
“Oh, did Jaejoong here yesterday? I don’t know if he was.” Yunho looked a little bit surprised.
“Yeah he was.” Changmin sighed. He walked towards where Yunho stood. He sighed, and then he realized something important. The agreement from the leader-ssi about the future of their used-to-be band. “So leader-ssi, what gonna happen to our band?” Changmin looked straight into Yunho’s eyes, it still like the way he used to be, warm, wide, and full of understanding.
“Hm, what do you think?” Yunho put the newspaper away.
“For me it’s over hyung, it was a band with 5 talented members and what’s left now is the most untalented one.” Changmin shrugged.
“What the heck min?” Yunho looked annoyed. Then he sighed. “Let’s come in, it’s quiet cold here, I’m gonna be all fine but I know you won’t. Ka ja!” Yunho opened up the door, and then both of them walked down to the living room.
“So, what will you do?” Yunho sat on the couch, crossed his legs.
“Back to normal life, I’ll back, staying with my parents. Hmm, I’m also going back to college. And in few years maybe I’ll be graduated with cum laude, getting a great carrier.” Changmin was talking with his pouted lips. Yunho smiled as he saw the maknae’s habit.
“Why being so selfish Min?” He raised one of his perfect thick eyebrows.
“Aren’t you all guys? Couldn’t it call as an egoistic thing to do to left your little crybaby dongsaeng, maknae of the group alone in this earth?” Changmin defense himself, felt a slight heartache in coiling in his chest.
“Do you think we all want this? Do you think this is our choice? No Minnie yah! We want to stay, we want we’ll be five together forever and ever, we want no one left behind. But this is what God set for us.” Yunho looked so serious.
Changmin sighed. “Yeah hyung, I guess it’s all true.”
Yunho leaned to the couch, the tense now relieved.”So, would you still singing Min?”
“Molla. I haven’t thought about it hyung.”
“Why? Loose the passion to sing huh?”
“Anio, I can’t sing alone, I guess.”
“Weird. But why can’t? You’ve got a great voice you know?”
“A high pitched voice, and an annoying sound if I didn’t hit the note properly.”
“Don’t be to mean to yourself. Tell me, why won’t you sing alone?”
“If we don't make the harmony of all five, it can't make the sound of TVXQ"
“Isn’t it Joongie’s words?”
“It is. Ah, I don’t wanna think about it Hyung.”
“But I guess you should think about it, soon Min.”
“Why should I?”
“Contract?”
“Ah yeah…” Changmin nodded, “blessed you all, saved from that crazy slave contract, and damned me still here inside the evil trap.” Then he stood up and faced the window. He breathed heavily, tried to pull away his entire burden.
“Mianhae, jeongmal mianhae Minnie yah!” Yunho stood behind him, patted his shoulder. “We didn’t know this going to happen. We love you Min, really love you. We’re all not just a band mates, we are brother, closer than blood. Promise me you’ll keep strong without us here by your side. You’re a tough guy, aren’t you?” Yunho punched Changmin’s upper arm playfully. The he hugged Changmin. “Hyung will always love you, you know?”
“Hyung..” Changmin could feel the tears now forced in his eyes. But he couldn’t cry in front of leader-ssi. He used to be the one who comfort him. He used to be the one who protect him. He used to be the one who help him. And Changmin didn’t want to disappoint the leader, just by promised him to be strong enough. “Na bogoshipoyo..”
“Na do, keunde uljima!” Yunho pulled himself from the hugging moment. He saw Changmin’s face, then he wiped the tears away. “Remember, uljima!!” Yunho exclaimed again, now with smile in the corner of his eyes.
“Ne hyung” Changmin smiled too.
“Guess what? This is time to leave.” Yunho walked to the stairs.
“Why so soon? Even Jae hyung stayed longer with me.” Changmin lips turned into a perfect pout. Yunho chuckled.
“Jae hyung never as busy as I am! I gotta go, bye! Remember, uljima!” Yunho climbed the stairs.
“Why to the roof?” Changmin asked.
“Just to make an impression for you, hahaha. Exactly, there’s no specified way to leave for me, but it’s just much better if you don’t see me leaving. Bye Min, saranghaeyo!” Yunho stopped a while and shaped a heart with his arms, before he turned to other side and couldn’t be seen again from Changmin’s perspective.
“Hyung..” he frozen. The he rushed to chase his hyung. But when he opened up the roof door, no one was there. There’s nothing left to proof that his beloved leader, substitute appa, Jung Yun Ho, was there once. He knelt down, and started to shake as he forced himself to hold back the tears.
*
It’s just another day for Shim Changmin. Another morning, another expectation raised inside his chest. Today supposed to be Yoochun hyung’s turn, he reminded himself from the moment he opened up his eyes. He got up from the bed, went to the kitchen. Still all clean, as now he rarely having meal. He opened up the fridge, it was all hollow. Then he chuckled, it was an impossible thing to occurred if five of them still living there.
After took a bath, Changmin decided to gets some food. It was still 7am, he zipped his jumper and walked out from the apartment, locked the door behind him. He just used a cap to hid himself, he wouldn’t give a damn even anyone asked him for sign or anything. Now he just Shim Changmin, not Choikang Changmin neither Max Changmin of TVXQ.
Another 45 minutes, Changmin already stood in front of the door, he unlocked it and stepped in. the harmonization of the melody reached his ears. It was from the piano. Yoochun hyung, Changmin convinced himself.
And that was right, as he walked to the living room, Yoochun was there, sat before the piano. The music sheet on his lap, and a pencil and eraser was on narrow space on the piano.
“Home finally Min?” Yoochun asked with wide grin on his face.
“Ne hyung. Are you composing another song?” Changmin asked, but he left to the kitchen to drop the things he just bought. A moment later, he got back to Yoochun’s side.
“Yeah, look at this.” Yoochun handed him a music sheet. He could read the note well, but he can’t play the piano. He examined the note, and found it a little bit too high pitched to be sing together.
“Why it’s so high hyung?” He asked Yoochun who still played the piano.
“Because this song belonged to you.” Yoochung smiled as he looked at Changmin straight in his eyes. “So it’s supposed to be high-pitched. Nah, I already made the notation, so next you made the lyric, okay? You could read that huh?”
“I won’t sing alone hyung.” Said Changmin, as he handed back the music sheet, “I just want sing with four of my hyungs.” Changmin let out a bitter smile.
Yoochun sighed, the he moved a little bit to the left, made a little space on the chair then tapped it. “Sit here, and listen.” Yoochun placed the sheet back to its holder, and Changmin sat next to him. Then Yoochun started to play the notes he had write.
“Beautiful, as usual.” Changmin still examined the note that had been written by his great composer, his own hyung.
“Gomawo, but they still need the lyric.” Now Yoochun seemed to persuade Changmin to write the lyric. Changmin sighed again.
“Hhh, arasseo. I’ll try to make the lyric next.” Changmin gave up to this man.
“Aaaaah, feel so good. That’s what my dongsaeng should do you know!” he stopped his playing. Then he yawned. “Don’t you feel lonely to stay here alone? Why don’t you go back to your own house?” Yoochun asked.
“First, yes, I’m overwhelmingly alone here. I have no one to be talked with, no one to be teased, no one to be pranked. But... “ Changmin held out his words.
“But?” Yoochun got so curious.
“All of my hyungs keep showing up every day, before the last turn, Junsu hyung’s turn, which supposed to be tomorrow, I don’t even think to leave.” Changmin explained his reason.
“Did Yunho hyung and Jaejoong hyung were here yesterday?” Yoochun looked a bit surprised.
“Yunho hyung came yesterday, and Jaejoong the day before.”
“Ah, I miss them too Min.”
“I do more than anyone hyung.” Changmin stood up now, headed to the window. And so did Yoochun.
“So when will you finished the lyric Min?”
“Hm, let me see the sheet again.” Yoochun handed him the sheet. Then Changmin left to his room, took his pencil case then went to the roof. “Don’t you dare leaving hyung!” Changmin threw his deadly glare upon his hyung.
“Yes sir, I won’t. In fact I’ll follow you to the roof, may I?” Yoochun walked behind Changmin.
“Ka ja.” Both of them walked to the roof. Then Changmin sat on his favorite bench. The wind was keep blowing. And it soothed his skin.
“Ah, good weather huh?” Yoochun asked. Changmin just nodded as he started his muse to get any inspiration for the lyric. The next minutes, Changmin just feel into his unbreakable focus, he wasn’t aware what’s going on around him.
“Hyung I’m done, just..” Changmin just hadn’t finished his words as he realized that Yoochun wasn’t there. “Hyung?” he called out again. No answer. So Changming stood up, gathered all of his things, then he walked down. “Hyung, are you still here?”
Then, Changmin looked at a piece of paper on the top of piano seat. He rushed, then grabbed the paper.
“Mianhaeyo, I gotta go. I just won’t broke your focus so I left without any word. FINISH THE SONG!!! Changmin-ah, hwaiting! v^^v. Yoochun.”
Changmin let the paper fell down to the floor, also the paper of his new lyric, and Yoochun’s composition. Next, it was himself that felt to the ground. He cried, and his tears stained his lyric.
When the darkness strokes the earth,
It supposed to be stars which light up the dark
It supposed to be miraculous constellations that come
Remain nothing but enlighten space all over the world

You know these words for you
The way you came in to this living thing
Embrace me with your lovely warmth
I love you, inside this fragile heart
“Park Yoochun, how dare you tell me to write the lyric but left before you even see the first word of the song?” He mumbled to himself.
*
That morning, Changmin went out again after took a bath. He needed breakfast. He felt it was so suck to walk out in the morning just to having meal, while he was get it all without doing anything. He just needs to keep sleep until Jaejoong yelled from the kitchen that the breakfast is ready. But now, he should walk out in the morning and chooses what he wants to eat as his breakfast.
Sandwich already shut his rambling stomach. Being left made him lost his huge appetite. He walked home from a small café nearby the apartment. He wished something just like yesterday, when he walks in, he hoped Junsu was there already.
A soccer ball rolled to his feet when he stepped in, but he just smiled. It must be Junsu, definitely Kim Junsu, the person who never been taught what is the purpose of the invention of soccer field outside there. He just always plays soccer INSIDE the house. Changmin took the ball and held it on his hands.
“Hyung?” Changmin called. In split second, Junsu showed up with wide grin on his face.
“Minnie yah, play soccer with me please?” He asked Changmin. The youngest was always refusing every time his hyung asked him to played soccer. But as the maknae knew this is maybe the last chance to playing together, he nodded his head in agreement.
“Ne hyung.” He said, still held the ball. And the two of them walked out from the apartment. They went to a small field just next to the building, and started to play one-on-one soccer. They drowned in laughter. And in the end, when they were too exhausted, the laid down on the grass, looked up to the morning sky, with its clear blue color, and smooth white cloud.
“Let’s play again, hyung!” he asked as he was panting in exhausted.
“Ung? But you supposed to be hated to play again when I beat you?” Junsu sat up, looked at his dongsaeng.
“But I want to play again.” Changmin’s voice wavers in tears. “Please hyung, play with me again. Beat me at any match, I don’t even give any damn, just please stay with me and play this game all over again.” The younger sat up too, but he facepalmed to hide his tears.
Junsu sighed, he came closer to Changmin the he embraced him in a tight hug. “Shhhhs, why crying Minnie? Don’t cry.” He caressed the younger back.
“All of you would leave me today, really leave me” he whimpered in Junsu’s hug.
“Mianhae, but nothing else we can do my Minnie.” Junsu ruffled Changmin’s hair in affection.
“Don’t leave me.”
“I would like. But I can’t. I’m sorry.”
An eerie silence warped around them. The autumn breeze soothed them in a peaceful touch. They still hugged each other, the youngest of the group, one in fear to be left, the other in fear of leaving.
“Let’s back to the apartment Minnie, it’s getting cooler.” Junsu stood up, hand offered a help to Changmin. He reached it, and stood on his own feet. Body glued side by side, hand laced in fear of losing. They walked inside, then Changmin curled up into a ball on his bed, with Junsu clinged to his side. Hand laced still with fearfulness.
“Hyung?”
“Hm?”
“Don’t leave.”
“Sorry I can’t.”
Grip loosen in unconsciousness, Changmin let himself fell into sleepless slumber, let Junsu slipped away from him. Leave him. Forever.
*
Changmin stirred when a cool hand touched his temple. He gained his consciousness and blinked. Once, twice, and trice. Finally he startled when he saw 4 friendly faces faced him. The oldest of them still had his hand right on his temple.
“How do you feel baby?” Jaejoong ruffled his head in affection. The others watched him with anxiety in their eyes.
“Hyung deul?” he doubted. Is it dream or was it dream? Which one? He couldn’t think properly.
“Yes Min, you must be groggily. Yeah maybe because the medication, it kept you slept for almost whole day you know?” Yunho explained it all. He still couldn’t catch anything.
“So, what did happened to me?” now Changmin tried to sat up, Yunho helped him to.
“You didn’t remember Minnie?” Yoochun asked. All Changmin could do just shakes his head.
“You passed out on the hospital hallway you know, it was make us all worried you to the max, you Max!” Jaejoong poked his nose.
“Hospital?” he started to remember, Manager-hyung called him, woke him from sleep because of fever and..
“Yeah Minnie, manager-hyung called you up to informed that i broke my own arm by soccer games. And in fever you still rushed to the hospital to visit me! Aaaaaw how sweeeeeeeet you are my Minnie.” Junsu walked in his room with a casted right arm.
“Ah...yeah.” he finally could digest it all. He let out his smirk.
“Why smirking Minnie?” Junsu asked.
“Nothing.” He shoke his head. “Just dream.”
**

Back back back as a failure!

2010-01-01T18:41:00.000-08:00

Hello i am back, see? i'm a messed up failure -____-. Haven't updated this blog for times, livejournal left by me for years (yes overreacted) and my fiction project was drowning away ;____; i supposed to finished my death drabble this holiday but whatta heck, i just finished until yunho's part, still 3 part awaited there ;A; aaaaaaaaaaaaa help me HEEEEELP

A long journey to the miraculous constellation

2009-12-16T03:15:00.000-08:00

Hello all, I just wanna share my story about our beloved boys, Dong Bang Shin Ki aka Tohoshinki aka Tong Vfang Xien Qi.

Yayaya, perjalanan panjang gue sebelum akhirnya terperangkan dalam dunia fangirling LOL!

Gue inget banget, pertama kali gue tau yang namanya DBSK itu pas SMP, kelas dua apa kelas tiga gitu. Secara temen gue ada yang Cassies, it was Diska and Ditha. Tapi gue ga belum tertarik sama yang namanya KPop, I was so keen on K-dramas, and my whole fandom it was just about the dramas. Dulu pas Diska tergila-gila sama Hero (cuma dia yg gue tau saat itu), gue masih fangirl nya Joo Ji Hoon ama Rain :P. Kalo ga salah pernah juga gue main ke rumah Diska, dan saat itu dia ama Ditha lagi nonton konser DBSK, tapi gue ga peduli gitu secara gue lagi ketakutan banget sama Chiko, anjingnya Diska yang nongkrong ga jauh-jauh dari gue -___-. And so it was, itu doang yang gue tau tentang DBSK pas SMP. Lagian pas SMP gue masih Japan-centric banget haha.

Theeeeeen gue masuk SMA, pertama kali gue ngomong tentang DBSK lagi itu pas lagi MOS, lagi dikumpulin suruh duduk di lapangan, nah depan gue Sarahero, yang di tasnya nongkrong pin Jaejoong segede bujut, kalo gak salah waktu itu gue tanya “Lo suka sama DBSK-DBSK itu ya? Gue punya temen yang suka juga tuh sama mereka.” Dan waktu itu Sarah mulai cerita-cerita tentang DBSK, tapi gue ga terlalu inget ^^. Then karena gue sekelas sama Sarah, secara gak langsung gue dapet pengaruh radiasi DBSK yang dia pancarkan. Dia demen banget nyanyiin lagunya DBSK di kelas sampe dia dipanggil “Saramento” karena di lagu Rising Sun Japan version ada lirik “saramen saramen saramento shinjite…” HAHAHA atau setiap kali dia ngomong “OH” pasti pake nada lagu “O” . mulai saat itulah gue kadang-kadang ikutan Sarah nontonin MV nya DB di hp dia yang udah penuh sesek ama semua tentang DBSK. Dan gue waktu itu agak interest ama DBSK tapi ya biasa aja haha. Dan yang gue tau dari DBSK cuma ada anggotanya yang namanya Hero Jaejoong lainnya gue buta gak tau apa-apaan. Yang paling gue inget Sarah pernah nunjukin MV Balloons yang Jaejoong dicuekin ama anak kecil modelnya. Terus ya MV Wrong Number, yang di MV itu akhirnya gue tau the leader-ssi Yunho yang emang mirip banget ama temen gue, Abudzar di MV itu! Haha. Di hp gue mulai ada 1 mp3 DBSK --> Wrong Number , karena waktu itu gue ama Sarah kerja sama buat translate Wrong Number ke bahasa Indonesia, hasilnya kurang lebih gini :

You’ve got the wrong number (Kamu salah nomer)

I’m sorry you’ve got the wrong number (Maafkan kamu salah nomer)

So don’t call me no more (Jangan telpon lagi)

…

Machineun Eomma-chorom (Jika kamu ibuku….)

GUOBLOK haha. Abis itu gue juga tau lagu Mirotic, agak ilfeel ama judulnya, tapi catchy banget di lirik “I’ve got you~, under my skin!” dan itu juga Sarah ama gue translate “Aku dapatkan kamu di bawah kulitku” tapi karena nadanya ga se-oke yang Wrong Number, jadinya gagal liris ;P haha. Gue inget waktu itu sekali gue googling tentang Mirotic-DBSK karena pengen tau tentang kontroversi lagu itu yang katanya mengandung unsur seksual tapi gue sendiri kaga ngarti kenapa.

Sampai suatu hari, gue ga inget karena apa, tapi waktu itu sama Tatia gue diajarin bedain anak DBSK atu-atu, paling gampang jelas Jaejoong, dan yang paling susah gue bedain Yoochun ama Junsu o.O (sekarang gue sadar mereka BEDA banget -___-“) DAN BERHASIL! Gue inget gue bisa bedain sebelum nonton drama mereka yang Vacation (punya Sarah) jadi waktu itu lagi dipinjem Adel apa Tatia gitu gue lupa, pas mau dibalikin ke Sarah gue pinjem, malemnya langsung gue tonton dan gue inget banget gue langsung “klik” ama Changmin :3. Dan begooooooonya gue, dulu gue bilang dulu Min itu mirip Kim Bum O.O abisan sama-sama kiyuuuuuut banget deh.

Selanjutnya gue agak lupa, tapi yang gue inget lagi gue nonton MV Mirotic pas lagi ada acara ceramah di sekolah, gue duduk di samping Adel dan ngebajak iPod nya Adel buat nonton Mirotic ama iklan Anycall Haptic yang sama SNSD itu. Dan gue minta mp3 Mirotic sama Sarah. Dari situ gue mulai ngerasa DBSK itu catchy banget >_< ! Dan pas gue mau beli mp3 player, gue minta tolong ama Tatia buat ngasih gue mp3 DBSK yang menurut dia enak, dan waktu itu dia ngasih Rising Sun, Rising Sun Japan, We Are, Balloons, Hug Japan, Flower Lady, Purple Line, Asu wa Kuru Kara, Love in The Ice, Hey Don’t Bring Me Down, Wrong Number, Kiss The Baby Sky, Choosey Lover, Somebody To Love, Beautiful Thing, Lovin’ You, sama O. Dan waktu itu gue biasa aja, cuma comfy aja denger lagu mereka.

Terus juga waktu itu gue minjem DVD bonus dari majalah punya Sarah, tadinya mau nonton behind the scene nya Boys Before Flower, tapi ternyata ada offshoot nya DBSK yang Share the World ama Survivor dan mereka beneran bikin gue ketawa deh. Ada cuplikan T concert juga, dan gue ngomong ke Tatia “Eh gue liat konsernya DBSK di DVD nya Sarah itu, keren banget yak ada hologram banner nya gitu, asik abis” eh Tatia bilang “Ada yang lebih keren lagi” dan akhirnya gue minta video konsernya ke Tatia. Dia ngasih gue The Secret Code Final in Tokyo Dome DAN GUE BENER-BENER JATUH CINTA SAMA DBSK!!!! Abis itu gue ketagihan minta video sama Tatia, menyusul selanjutnya adalah 3^rd Asia Concert Mirotic (OHMYGODSUN Wrong Number nye KEREEEEEEEEEEN) dan AADBSK 3 Vacation in Saipan. Dari sini gue makin suka dan suka dan suka dan sukaaaaaa banget dan gue melabuhkan hati gue ke CHANGMIN the cutest ever live maknae =))). Gue inget abis nonton Secret Code gue langsung minta mp3 Doushite ama Tonight sama Sarah (gue tegila-gila sama Tonight) dan akhirnya gue memutuskan download sendiri lagu-lagu mereka (criminal -____-) dan sampe sekarang pun koleksi gue belum nyentuh angka 50 haha newbie abis. Dan gue emang ga mau download banyak, paling banyak download 5 lagu sekaligus, gue dengerin dulu bener-bener sampe nempel, baru gue cari lagu lain yang belum pernah gue denger. Sekarang gue lagi suka banget sama Crazy Love, sampe gue edit dan gue jadiin ringtone! Hahaha.

So it’s about my fangirling time with TVXQ! Udah maghrib, so ciao~!

xoxo

irmahermaniar, Mrs. Shim *get bricks*

P.S. :
LONGEST POST EVER ! wow, DBSK ROCKS!

2009-11-26T20:49:00.000-08:00

HELOO FELLASS!
Senin eke udah UAS loh tapi masih terlalu excited dengan comebacknya Tohoshinki di Jepang. WIHI. and my baby Changminnie-oppa cut off his hair

UHU! absolutely cute~~~~
Walaupun kasus mereka sama sekali belum selesai, tapi seengganya mereka bisa tampil lagi di TV itu sedikit menangkan ya? Hem, 22 november kemari kan JaeChunSu tampil di MAMA, and it sounds damn crazy tapi gue mau nangis pas ngeliat mereka cuma bertiga gitu huhu sedih banget deh ya ngeliat yang biasanya berlima jadi tinggal tiga, dan pihak SM marah juga sama mereka lagi RAWR sini lo gue gigit sooman!!!!!!

And ada kabar dari little babby of SHINee, uri Taemin.

KENA SWINE FLU *screaming out loud*
AHELAH awalnya jonghyun nih ah jadinya my babby Onew sama Taemin juga kena kan. Errr. Minho ama Key take care yaaaaa jangan sampe kena juga. CHUUUU <3

Udah ah, cape wakakaka.
Bye all.

xoxo
irmahermaniar

It Drove Me CRAZYYYYY!

2009-11-20T19:34:00.000-08:00

Annyeong chin'gu!

Fufufufu gue baru aja nonton 1 disc dari AADBSK (All About Dong Bang Shin Ki) season 3 and you know what? I'M GOING CRAZY OVER THEM omooooo~ mereka semua GANTENG, GANTEEEEEENG BANGET di situ.
This is its cover.

SUMPAH sama sekali ga nyesel deh udah tengkurep, duduk, selonjoran, tiduran melototin lapto buat nonton. Segitu baru disc 1, soalnya di disc 2-3 subtit nya ga keliatan, mesti di dvd player dan gue males keluar kamar. disc 1 isinya itu vacation in Saipan sama Couple Talk. Saipan gue udah pernah nonton, tapi ternyata yang dari youtube itu ada yang diilangin, pas mereka games point break (kaya surfing di kolam ombak buatan). Gue ngakak parah pas bagian Jaejoong, sumpah dia CANTIIIIIIIK banget dengan poni dijepit kebelakang dan mukanya kena air berkali-kali AAAAAAH gue teriak dan ngakak puas banget walaupun dia cuma tahan 11 detik. Pas bagian Junsu ada yang lucu pas dia lepas kedua tangannya dari body board nya itu. Yuchun juga lucu, dia jago banget, tahan paling lama 33 detik. Changmin lucuuuuuuu banget (emang selalu XD) tapi karena dia ketinggian jadi agak aneh di body boardnya,dan dia ga lepas contact lens, cuma pake kacamata renang. AND YUNHO ABSOLUTELY AWESOME :3 hihi spechless liat abang leader bo! di akhir-akhir itu mereka main basket air (itu kesimpulan gue liat game yg aga ga jelas gitu) and poor minnie, keliatan banget dia ngindarin air dari matanya (bandel sih contact lensnya ga dicopot dan gapake kacamata renang juga ;( ).

Then couple talk!!
OMOOOOOO~ gue suka semuanya, lucu semua, kyuuuuut abess. Tapi gue gegulingan sendiri pas Jae-Chang (i prefered Jae-Min please). JAEJOONG NAFSU MAU NYIUM CHANGMIN buahahahahahahaha. JJ udah nyubit-nyubit, jewer-jewer,eh terakhir mau nyium hahaha. Yayaya Changin kan emang yang paling anti dipegang-pegang sama sayang-sayangan sama sesama member, he's so straight for sure! And i love it.
JJ emang keliatan banget ya cewenya, fufufufu dia yg paling ga risih buat pegang-pegang, duduk deket-deket sesama member. Tapi dia agak enyem pas Yunho bilang dia seneng banget dia yang jadi cowo, dan Jaejoong yang jadi cewe. But that's the fact Boojae!

Udah ah, mau lanjutin lagi gegulingan ama AADBSK nya!
Ciao!

Gelang Persahabatan

2009-11-17T03:48:00.000-08:00

HELOOOO ALLL
kangen nulis huhu -___- akhir-akhir ini lagi concern sama project fanfiction kedua gue, fufufufu tunggu aja yaaaa (kepedean).
Nah! kenapa judulnya gelang persahabatan? karena gue juga on project bikin gelang persahabatan itutuuuu yang dari benang sulam HAHA.
Cape deh rasanya, lagi nyari tugas nih. Biologi! 5 sistem peredaran hewaaaaaan aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah tidak!
Yasudahlah, saya kembali berenang di lautan google aja.
Bye all!

"We are!" -oneshoot fanfict DBSK-

2009-11-05T06:31:00.000-08:00

MY FIRST FANFIC! Yay, seneng banget akhirnya bisa posting juga. Masih amat-sangat-newbie, yang baca tolomng komen ya buat koreksi. Gomawooo~

Sebenernya bingung mau judul apa, tapi "We Are!" kayanya cocok, sesuai ama lagunya DBSK juga, dan fanfic ini pengen nunjukin bahwa ditengah banyak masalah dan rumor, DBSK pati masih bisa teriak "WE ARE DBSK, TVXQ, THSK!" -maap kalo ga nyambung-.

***

"WE ARE!"
-by irma

“Yah, Min-ah! Nadamu terlalu tinggi, kami tida bisa menyamainya, pasti terdengar aneh.” Gerutu Yuchun saat mereka tengah berlatih vokal hanya dengan piano saja.
“Ah, mianhae hyung.” Jawab Changmin singkat, namun raut mukanya kini berubah menjadi lebih suram.
“Sudah, kita mulai lagi latihannya.” Yunho menengahi sebelum Junsu ikut membantu Yuchun untuk menyerang Changmin. Jaejoong juga melemparkan pandangan menakutkan ke arah Yuchun, yang langsung membungkan mulut Yuchun. Nada-nada yang mengalun dari piano, yang tadi sempat terputus, kini pun mengalun lagi seiring dengan harmonisasi 5 suara itu.
“Min-oppa, overtone lagi.” Ujar pianis mereka. Yuchun terlihat menghela nafas lega karena tidak harus bicara lebih dulu.
“Waeyo Minnie?” tanya Jaejoong dengan khawatir. Ia menghampiri Changmin lalu menepuk-nepuk punggung Changmin perlahan.
“Kwaechanha.” Changmin semakin suram kali ini. Jaejoong melempar pandangan berisyarat pada Yunho, dan Yunho hanya bisa mengedikan bahunya.
“Apa cukup sampai di sini latihannya?” tanya Yunho.
“Ah ya, sudah jam 8 malam, mungkin Minnie terlalu lelah hari ini.” Tanggap Junsu.
“Ya sudah kalau begitu, komaptago.” Ujar sang pianis sambil merapikan partitur lagu dan menutup lagi piano itu. Changmin berjalan lambat-lambat menuju tempat duduk di ruang latihan itu, ia mengambil minum lalu duduk. Jaejoong menghampirinya.
“Ada apa Min-ah? Cerita saja padaku!” ujar Jaejoong sambil duduk di sebelah Changmin.
“Annio, kwaenchanha.” Elak Changmin. Padahal dapat terlihat jelas ada banyak yang ia sembunyikan dari keempat hyung nya itu.
“Baiklah, mari kita pulang sepertinya uri magnae butuh tidur lebih cepat.” Ujar Yunho sambil tertawa kecil di ambang pintu ruangan latihan. 4 orang tertawa, hanya 1 yang masih memancarkan aura gelap dan suram. Akhirnya mereka berlima meninggalakan ruang latihan itu.

***

Apartemen yang mereka berlima tempati malam itu seperti biasanya, setelah tiba dirumah, mereka beristirahat lalu makan malam bersama-sama, dan seperti biasa pula, Jaejoong lah juru masak di apartemen itu.
“Joongie-hyung, enak sekali!” puji Junsu saat mereka berlima menandaskan makannya.
Jaejoong hanya tertawa sambil mulai membereskan peralatan makanan mereka dibantu Yunho. Saat menghampiri Changmin, ia tampak amat bingung. Changmin tidak menghabiskan makanannya.
“Minnie, waeyo?” Yunho yang bertanya walaupun raut wajah Jaejoong lah yang paling menunjukkan keheranan.
“Annio, kwaenchanha, aku hanya sudah kenyang saja. Aku duluan ya.” Changmin tersenyum hambar lalu meninggalkan keempat hyung-nya yang keheranan dengan tingkah lakunya. Terdengar pintu kamarnya ditutup lalu dikunci.
“Ada apa dengan dia Yunnie-hyung? Apa teguranku tadi saat latihan itu salah?” tanya Yuchun pada Yunho yang kembali melanjutkan kegiatan bersih-bersih membantu Jaejoong.
“Aku tidak tahu. Tapi tidak mungkin hanya karena tadi, pasti ada masalah lain yang dialami Minnie.” Sahut Yunho.
“Yah, kenapa dia? Dia memang jarang bicara, tadi bukan murung begitu kan?” Junsu ikut berbicara.
“Sudah, biarkan dia sendiri dulu. Mungkin menurutnya ia bisa menyelesaikan masalahnya itu sendiri.” Jaejoong menengahi.
Di dalam kamarnya, Changmin duduk sambil memeluk lututnya. Ia memandang keluar lewat jendela kamarnya. Ia masih teringat dengan kejadian beberapa hari yang lalu, saat ia punya waktu senggang dan ia mampir ke rumah orang tuanya.
“Yah, Changmin, apa kamu mau terus-terusan jadi penyanyi sekarang yah?” ujar ayahnya malam itu, saat mereka berdua saling berbincang di belakang rumah.
“Mungkin begitu appa, memangnya kenapa?” tanya Changmin.
“Kamu tahu kan appa ini guru, dan kamu anak yang paling tua yang appa punya. Apakah kamu tidak mau meneruskan pekerjaan appa?”
“Aku merasa nyaman sebagai penyanyi appa. Dan aku selalu berniat begitu.”
Ayahnya tersenyum mengejek mendengar jawaban Changmin itu. Hal itu cukup melukai perasaan Changmin.
“Setidaknya, dengan menjadi guru kamu bisa menjadi seseorang yang berguna dan berjasa bagi banyak orang. Kamu bisa jadi orang yang berguna, berjasa, bagi anak-anak didikmu. Sedangkan penyanyi? Tak ada yang tahu berapa lama lagi masa kejayaanmu dengan band mu itu berlangsung. Semuanya tidak ada yang pasti.” Ayahnya menceramahi. Changmin mendengarkan seksama sambil terus berpikir, dia bukan orang yang gampang digoyahkan pendiriannya.
“Tapi aku merasa senang menjalaninya appa.” Kilah Changmin.
“Sekarang. Tidak ada yang tahu bagaimana tahun depan atau lebih depannya lagi. Seharusnya kamu punya pekerjaan yang lebih pasti untuk masa depan”
“Mungkin begitu appa.” Changmin hanya mengedikkan bahunya.
“Seberapa nyaman memangnya kamu dengan 4 orang yang kau anggap hyungmu sendiri itu? Tidakkah kamu menyayangi appa, eomma, dan kedua adikmu dibandimg mereka?” kata-kata terakhir dari ayahnya itu lah yang selalu berputar di kepala Changmin. Tepatnya pertanyaan sebaliknya, “Kamu meninggalkan appa, eomma, dan dua adikmu demi bersama 4 orang itu, apakah mereka berempat membutuhkan kamu menyayangi kamu seperti appa, eomma, dan dua adikmu itu?”
Lagi-lagi Changmin menghembuskan nafas kuat-kuat, kedua tangannya masih memeluk erat tungkainya itu. Tiba-tiba ada yang mengetuk pintu kamarnya.
“Minnie ah, boleh aku masuk?” suara Jaejoong terdengar samar di balik pintu kamar.
“Ne.” sahut Changmin. Jaejoong pun masuk sambil membawa segelas susu coklat dan sebungkus biskuit.
“Sebagai ganti makananmu yang tidak habis tadi.” Jelasnya sambil menaruh gelas di atas nakas lalu menyodorkan biskuit itu pada Changmin. Jaejoong lalu duduk di samping Changmin.
“Gomawo hyung.” Jawabnya. Diambilnya sekeping biskuit lalu ia kunyah lambat-lambat.
“Waeyo Minnie? Kalau kau terus diam kau bisa membuatku gila!” jaejoong terkesan amat hiperbolis.
“Masalah ini masih bisa aku atasi sendiri hyung.” Ujar Changmin mencoba menenangkan Jaejoong.
“Yah, tapi kau jangan murung begitu.”
“Bukankah aku memang lebih sering diam? Aku memang selalu begitu kan hyung?”
“Tapi tidak separah beberapa hari belakangan ini.”
“Mian hyung,tapi aku ingin menyelesaikan masalah ini sendiri.”
“Ppali!”
“Aku coba hyung.” Changmin terdiam, lalu Jaejoong mengambil gelas susu dan menyodorkannya pada Changmin. “Gomawo.” Jaejoong hanya tersenyum.
“Baiklah kalau begitu. Jangan lupa sikat gigi dulu sebelum tidur.” Jaejoong bangkit berdiri.
“Ne hyung. Yah Jae-hyung, besok kita libur kan?” tanya Changmin sebelum Jaejoong berlalu.
“Ne, wae?” tanya Jaejoong.
“Aku mau izin pergi besok.”
“Kemana?”
“Rumah orang tuaku, bolehkan hyung?”
“Boleh saja, asal jangan lupa izin dengan manager-hyung.”
“Arasso.”
Jaejoong pun meninggalkan kamar Changmin.

***

Siang hari itu Changmin memarkir mobilnya di pelataran parkir rumah yang ia tempati sejak kecil itu. Ia terseyum sendiri lalu bergegas memasuki rumah yang terlihat begitu hangat di pertengahan November ini.
“Aku pulang.” Ujarnya sambil melepaskan sepatu dan menukarnya dengan sandal rumah.
“Yah! Uri Changmin-ah!” ibunya berjalan lekas-lekas menghampirinya lalu memeluk Changmin penuh sayang. “Sepertinya kamu tambah tinggi ya!” komentar ibunya yang dirangkul oleh Changmin.
“Eomma, bogo shipda..” rengek Changmin pada ibunya.
“Haha ara, ara, eomma juga kangen padamu. Padahal baru beberapa hari, biasanya juga kamu berbulan-bulan tidak bertemu dengan eomma.” Ibunya menepuk-nepuk punggung Changmin dengan lembut, “Eomma baru selesai masak, kamu mau makan?”
“Tentu saja!” keduanya pun berjalan menuju dapur. Kehangatan rumah ini selalu membuat Changmin rindu. Di tempat ini ia tidak pernah merasa begitu lelah seperti di apartemennya.
“Hari ini eomma masak kalbi-tang, kamu suka kan?” ibunya bertanya sambil mengambilkan makanan untuk Changmin.
“Eum!” Changmin mengangguk penuh antusias. “Makanan eomma pasti lebih enak dari masakkan Jaejoong hyung.” Suaranya bergetar dan nadanya berubah saat ia menyebutkan nama eomma keduanya itu.
“Ah kurro?” Ibunya lalu duduk di sampingnya. “Eomma ingin tahu, saat terakhir ke sini, appa bilang apa padamu?”
Hampir saja Changmin tersedak oleh makanannya, cepat-cepat ia meminun air yang juag telah disediakan ibunya.
“Eomma tahu?” tanya Changmin.
“Kamu anakku dan appamu itu suamiku Min!” ibunya tertawa melihat reaksi Changmin, “ayo lanjutkan lagi makanmu.”
“Eomma tahu semuanya?”
“Tentu saja. Appa mu pasti bicara yang tidak-tidak padamu mengenai kariermu kan?”
“Eum..” Changmin hanya mengangguk mendengar dugaan ibunya.
“Ya, mungkin appa mu terlalu sayang padamu jadi tidak mau kamu jauh-jauh dari dia. Sudahlah Min, kamu jangan terlalu memikirkan sampai mengorbankan nafsu makanmu yang besar itu!” canda Ibunya.
“Aaah eomma! Eomma tahu darimana?”
“Eomma dengar saat appa bicara padamu Min. Tapi ibu tidak sempat mengingatkan kamu kalau appa mu memang benar-benar kangen padamu. Jadi apapu yang appa katakan padamu, itu hanya sebagai ekspresi sayangnya padamu. Dan karena dia sayang padamu, pasti dia setuju dengan apapun jalan yang kamu pilih.”
Changmin hanya terdiam mendengar penjelasan ibunya. Ia masih merasa sulit mengembalikan pendiriannya seperti biasanya.
“Lalu, kamu pulang lagi hari ini karena appa mu yang waktu itu menoceh setelah minum soju? Aisssh, kau dulu pintar Min!” Kepala Changmin dipukul pelan oleh ibunya. “Hmmm, itu juga alasan kenapa kamu malas makan dan tidak konsen latihan beberapa hari belakangan ini?”
“Eomma juga tahu hal itu?” Changmin mengedipkan mata tak percaya pada ibunya itu.
“Ya.. Eomma iri pada 4 hyung mu itu. Aku ini eomma mu tapi mereka yang punya banyak waktu denganmu, memperhatikanmu, dan mengurusmu.” Changmin masih menikmati makanannya sambil melihat ibunya yang geleng-geleng kepala. “Beberapa hari belakangan Jaejoong selalu menelpon eomma, ia selalu menanyakan makanan apa yang eomma sering masak buatmu, karena kamu suka semua makanan. Ia menanyakan resepnya, apa yang istimewa dari cara masak eomma dan sebagainya.” Kepala Changmin dibelai perlahan oleh ibunya. “Ah Yunho juga menelpon dua atau tiga kali. Ia bertanya apakah kamu memang ada masalah dirumah atau bagaimana. Awalnya eomma tidak tahu kau ini kenapa, baru tadi pagi saat kamu menelpon dengan suara yang terdengar khawatir eomma tahu, pasti ini karena omongan appa mu kan?”
“Ne eomma.” Sahut Changmin. Ia sangat tersentuh dengan cerita eomma tentang sahabat-sahabatnya itu.
“Yuchun dan Junsu juga menelpon, namun mereka cuma berbicara pada dongsaeng mu. Spertinya menanyakan games atau apalah eomma tidak mengerti”
Changmin menghela nafasnya. Ia sudah selesai makan sekarang. “Eomma, aku begini karena sebelumnya appa tidak pernah mengomentari profesiku sekarang. Aku kaget saat appa berkata seperti itu padaku.”
“Bukannya kamu ini punya pendirian yang sangat kuat dan sulit digoyahkan Min? Mengapa ucapan appa mu yang sedang mabuk karena soju itu kamu hiraukan?”
“Aku tidak tahu malam itu appa habis minum soju eomma. Lagipula akhir-akhir ini memang banyak rumor dan kejadian yang membuatku cukup bimbang untuk bersama-sama dengan mereka.”
“Yah, eomma sudah rela kamu tinggal dengan mereka dan jarang pulang ke rumah, begitu pula appa mu dan dua adikmu, tapi mengapa kamu berpikir begitu? Lakukan yang terbaik demi eomma, appa, adikmu, 4 sahabatmu itu, dan semua penggemarmu Min!”
Ucapan ibunya mengejutkan Changmin. Ia merasa seperti diberi keyakinan kembali. Kemudian ia memeluk ibunya.
“Komapta eomma…” bisiknya lirih, ia hampir menangis sekarang.
“Ne. Sudah sudah jangan menangis, kamu sudah besar kan. Jangan cengeng, jadi lebih kuat ya.” Ujar ibunya sambil mengelus-elus punggung Changmin.
“Iya eomma” Changmin mulai meneteskan airmata, namun cepat-cepat ia menghapusnya.
“Makanmu sudah selesai?” mereka selesai berpelukan
“Sudah eomma. Enak sekali.”
“Hahaha tentu saja masakan eomma kan yang paling enak. Kapan kau mau pulang? Jangan buat Jaejoong, Yunho, Yuchun, dan Junsu cemas!” ibunya mulai merapikan bekas makan Changmin, sedangkan Changmin berdiri.
“Mungkin aku langsung pulang eomma. Aku merasa begitu bodoh mencemaskan banyak orang karena appa yang mabuk karena soju. Memalukan.” Changmin menutup mukanya dengan kedua tangannya.
“Iya itu benar. Ka!” ujar ibunya
“Baiklah. Aku pulang ya eomma. Annyeong!” Changmin melambaikan tangan pada ibunya.
“Ya, hati-hati. Jangan mengebut ya!” ibunya membalas lambaian tangan Changmin

***

“Aku pulang.” Seru Changmin saat ia menukar sepatunya dengan sandal rumah di pintu depan.
“Yah, Minnie, ayo ke dapur! Aku baru selesai masak, dan ah ya di kulkas ada strawberry shortcake yang aku buat saat kamu pergi tadi.” Suara Jaejoong terdengar dari arah dapur. Changmin melangkah melintasi ruang tamu, di sana Yuchun dan Junsu sedang bermain game.
“Minnie, Minnie, aku baru dapat game Harvest Moon yang lama! Kamu mau main?” tanya Junsu saat Changmin melewati mereka berdua.
“Ne hyung, tapi aku mau makan dulu.” Jawab Changmin dengan seulas senyum. Yuchun awalnya heran dengan seulas senyum yang sudah beberapa hari tak muncul di wajah dongsaeng nya itu, tapi akhirnya Yuchun ikut tersenyum.
“Jae-hyung, aku juga mau makan! Su, nanti lagi ya mainnya!” Yuchun melepaskan stik gamenya itu, ia memegang pundak Junsu lalu bangkit berdiri.
“Yah, aku juga mau!” Junsu ikut berdiri. Mereka bertiga berlalu menuju dapur. Di sana Jaejoong masih sibuk dengan hasil masakannya sedangkan Yunho sedang membaca majalah di meja makan.
“Ah, Minnie, apa masalahmu sudah selesai?” Yunho bertanya langsung ke pokoknya. Ia melepaskan pandangan dari majalahnya, melempar tatapannya ke Changmin.
“Ah.. Eum… Ya, aku bisa menyelesaikannya hyung!” jawab Changmin dengan tersenyum lebar. “Sebenarnya kemarin ini aku terpikir untuk mengundurkan diri dari grup kita ini.”
“MWO????” keempatnya berseru kencang.
“Mian, mian. Tapi sekarang sudah tidak kok,kemarin ini aku sempat salah mengerti dengan omongan Appa ku, tapi aku akhirnya mengerti, bahwa bersama keempat hyung inilah yang menjadi pendirianku.”
“Dan kau ini orang yang memegang teguh pendirianmu.” Sela Jaejoong sambil tersenyum bangga.
“Ah hyung, jangan begitu. Aku merasa bodoh sekali beberapa hari belakangan ini. Tapi akhirnya kebodohan ini memberiku pelajaran lebih, bahwa kita berlima lebih dari sekedar grup. Bahkan eomma ku yang mengatakannya. Aku jadi benar-benar malu sempat terpikir hal seperti kemarin.”
“Sudahlah Min, kau kan memang masih kecil.” Ledek Yuchun sambil merangkul Changmin.
“Hahaha, benar kata Chunnie. Setiap orang pasti pernah melakukan kesalahan Min.” imbuh Yunho.
“Sudah,sudah. Ayo kalian coba dulu jiggae buatanku, nanti lagi kita menertawakan uri magnae ini!” sela Jaejoong sambil membawa masakan buatannya itu ke meja makan.
“Waaah keliatannya enak.” Seru Junsu yang langsung mengambil posisi duduk di sisi terdekat dari makanan.
“Yah kalian semua cepat cuci tangan dulu!” perintah Jaejoong saat tangan Junsu hendak mencomot makanan dari atas piring.
“Iya hyung.”
Bergantian, mereka semua mencuci tangan. Setelah duduk ditempatnya masing-masing, Changmin kembali angkat bicara.
“Hyung, mianhe, jeongmal mianhae buat kesalahan yang aku buat, dan sempat merepotkan Hyung sekalian. Tapi aku tahu, bahwa cuma saat kita berlima lah kita bisa disebut sebagai DBSK.” Ujar Changmin dengan senyum bangga kepada 4 hyungnya.
“Yeah, we are one, eternally.” Jawab Yuchun.
“Hahaha tentu saja, seperti yang selalu kita dengar, keep the faith, DBSK!” Junsu tertawa.
“Dan 5-1=0” senyum terpancar dari wajah Jaejoong.
“Kita buka grup, tapi keluarga. Kamu tidak bisa mengundurkan diri dari keluargamu kan Min?” ledek Yunho. “Sudahlah, ayo makan! Sudah beberapa hari ini aku juga kehilangan nafsu makan karena melihat Minnie murung. Ayo makan!”
Dan mereka berlima pun menikmati hidangan buatan Jaejoong dengan suka cita.

***

Biar jelek jga credit on me ya, hehe.

Asia's Top Ten Pretty Males

2009-10-28T05:06:00.000-07:00

2009’s Asia’s top ten pretty males chart, has already found out everyone’s heartthrob with a months voting. The results of the top three are Shim Changmin, Lee MinHo and Kim Jaejoong.

The rest include (in order) Kim HyunJoong, Jerry Yan, Yamashita Tomohisa, Vic Chous, HanGeng, Wuzun, Jung Yunho and Choi Siwon. It includes three members from popular Korean group TVXQ, with the youngest Shim Changmin winning with his vocals, dancing pose, eye expression, and body etc. Hero Kim Jaejoong won 3rd place, and leader Jung Yunho was within the top 10. Jerry Yan lost his place [T/N he was in the top 3 last time], and instead it was taken by popular Lee Minho from Boys Over Flowers. The other male lead Kim Hyun Joong was placed fourth, showing that F4 still lives in everyone’s heart.

2009’s Asia’s top ten pretty males chart, telah menemukan semua orang Heartthrob dengan bulan pemungutan suara. Hasil dari tiga adalah Shim Changmin, Lee Minho dan Kim Jaejoong.

Sisanya meliputi (dalam order) Kim HyunJoong, Jerry Yan, Yamashita Tomohisa, Vic Chous, HanGeng, Wuzun, Jung Yunho dan Choi Siwon. Hal ini termasuk tiga anggota dari grup Korea populer TVXQ, dengan Shim Changmin yang termuda menang dengan vokal, menari pose, ekspresi mata, dan tubuh dll Hero Kim Jaejoong memenangkan tempat ke3, dan pemimpin Jung Yunho yang masuk dalam top 10. Jerry Yan kehilangan tempat [T / N dia berada di atas 3 terakhir kalinya], dan bukannya itu diambil oleh Lee populer Minho dari Boys Over Flowers. Memimpin laki-laki lain Kim Hyun Joong ditempatkan keempat, menunjukkan bahwa F4 masih tinggal di hati setiap orang.

source: [自情网部落 + Hey!JJ] translation credits: tvxq_luv@tohosomnia.net shared by: Tohosomnia.net indo trans : milkysu-indo

Well gue bingung nih seneng apa kaga? Oh my pretty,pretty boy i loveeee you~

BAZKOM FOOD FESTIVAL

2009-10-23T20:47:00.000-07:00

BAZKOM FOOD FESTIVAL
CLOSING @ OCTOBER 31 2009
with RAN, SUPERGLAD, THE S.I.G.IT, TONY Q RASTAFARA, AND MANY MORE

PRESALE TICKET IDR20.000 UNTIL OCTOBER29

BE HUNGRY, BE THERE !!!!

DBSK !

2009-10-23T20:30:00.000-07:00

Hello fellas, hi Reader !!

Beberapa hari belakangan ini gue sibuk banget nontonin 2 konsernya DBSK, 3rd Asia Tour Mirotic sama The Secret Code Concert Final in Tokyo Dome. AND OH MY GOD it was sooooo AWESOME! The stage was absolutely greeeeeaaaaaaaaat and they sang dan danced very well. I love them!

The Secret Code

Mirotic

Yeah i love Max (Chang Min) most wihihihi he's incredibly cute!

I wanna kiss his cheek and give him a big hug!

And i wanna touch Hero's cheek. It looks like marshmallow :3

HAHAHAHAH no offense, okay?

Ini mau jalan ke bazkom tapi nunggu download seabad masya Allah, lg download part 9 mirotic, gaada di fd gue huhuhu.
AYO SEMANGAT!!

cheers all

xoxo
irmahermaniar

Myself and..... GEMPAAA

2009-10-16T03:05:00.000-07:00

Hello !

Hari ini UTS selesai. Senangnyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa, tapi juga sedihnyaaaaaaaaaaaaaa liat hasilnya ckckck -_____-" ya Allah jangan banyak2 dong remednya huhuhu T_T

And today, would you mind to listen me talking about myself? mihihi gaada yang dengerin juga i'm fine thankyouuu.

Today, i was planning to do an experiment. To touch a wound beneath the bandage, when you even couldn't see it through. Yeah, maybe it's overreacted, but that HOW was it feel for me. Silly,but it is.So after school, i was so doubt about this damn decission, wheter go or not, but at least i went, almost feel-less. I was thinking all the way, HOW WOULD IT FEEL? But i was feel good about myself, and was so sure. And there where i was stand. On the corner i used to step off from the bus, and i was about encouraging myself. Phew, but it even worked better when i met my friend, Hendry, few steps ahead. He smiled at me and asked why i walk home this way? And I answered that i was going to playing around. Honestly, it was giving me another courage to step ahead. I kept walking and felt like there was hundred of butterflies flew around my stomach. Here came the ache, i felt so nervous, was so freaking out, and i knew that it was so teribbly silly and obviously overrrrrrreactedd.Few steps ahead, and so there i was.
MY JUNIOR HIGH SCHOOL BUILDING.
Well, it was a little bit dissapointed but i was still feel good about myself. Cool. I walked around, greeted everyone i knew. Once, my teacher asked me about boyfriend, and God it was a little bit brought me down but i could handled myself well. She was couraging me when we were step ahead, and she kept courage me when i walked off and turned away. Thank you Ma'am, i appreciate you so much, you are so cool!After all those manner-to-do things, i sat alone, place where i used to sit down and laughed all the way. It felt like i was about broke down and lost. But today still my day. I met my friend again, Nia, and teased her brought me some laughter, thankyou, you'll always be my Pooh hahaha XD.

And so on, that's how my friday was going, what about you guys? Nice also huh?

xoxoirmahermaniar-3119019 (nomer peserta haha)

p.s :AND YOU KNOW WHAT??? BARU AJA GUE SELESAI NGETIK, GEMPA YA ALLAH TAKUT BANGET LANGSUNG LARI DARI KAMAR KELUAR ASTAGFIRULLAAAAAAH kata TV gempanya di Ujung Kulon, Banten. 6,4 SR Semoga aja ga kenapa-kenapa ya amiiin ya Allah.

i want a cup of froyo!

2009-10-04T00:51:00.000-07:00

oh gaaaaaaad pengen banget makan frozen yoghurt, tapi harus ngerjain tugas sejarah dari guru yang ITUTUUUUUUH hahah. yaudah jadi kejebak depan komputer gini deh ya ckckc. untung ketemu deh ya hemm.

yak kawan, inilah pekerjaan iseng saja sambil nunggu link pada kebuka enyem. pengen upload foto tapi kayanya ga sempet, banyak benget, nanti aja ah. males juga buka fb, lemot.

aaaaah saya bingung ingin berkata apa, jadi, yasudahlah, SAMPAI JUMPAAA :3

Name Tag

2009-10-01T21:07:00.000-07:00

***

One day, lived a girl that her home laid aside a boy’s home. A boy that she hated. One day, she was escaping from her house quietly; she was about going to her part-time job that no one in her house knew about it. She tried to go from her roof-top. Just a moment before she went down by the stair, someone’s talked.
“Hello!” a greeting from the boy that she hated.
“Shuuut! What are you doing?!” she was about run her patience out.
“I’m the one who should ask about it. Uncle, a thief on your roof top!”
“SHUT UP! Can you just keep silent please?”
“I can, just bring my guitar case everywhere I go. First, pick me out from school tomorrow.”
“Okay… You only can make me feel so bad, make me angry.”
“How about if I could make you cry?”
“You wish, but I would fulfill your wish. How about if you cannot make me cry?”
“I will fulfill your wish too.”
“Deal!”
Then she went to her job, left the boy who smiled satisfied.
The next day, she went to his school. She was looking at the classroom when suddenly a teacher came behind her.
“What are you doing here?” the teacher was going to angry.
“Ehm, nothing sir. I’m looking for someone.” She argued.
“Who?”
“I don’t know”
“You make me angry! From which school are you?! Where’s your student ID?”
“I don’t have one sir”
“YOU!” he emphasized his word. Then she grabbed her name tag. Then the teacher went away.
Soon, the boy came.
“What’s wrong?” he asked.
“One of your teacher grabbed my name tag.”
“Which teacher?”
“Fat, bald, awful moustache.”
“Oh… I know, but he won’t give it back now. I’ll take care of it. You have another name tag, haven’t you?”
“Yeah…”
“Okay, let’s go home. Here the guitar case.”
Then both of them walked home together.
One night, few days has passed since she always brought his guitar case, she came home after did her part time job. She was so gloomy. She just fell down, unaccidentally, then, on the roof, she saw he was playing his guitar.
“Hey, why so blue? I have something for you. Catch it up!” he threw something to her. She caught it. It’s her name tag. She was staring at him when she realized some wound on his face.
“Because of this..” she talked to herself and about to cry. “What happened to your face?” she asked.
“Me? Nothing.”
“Your lips?”
“Bitted when kissing.”
“And your eyes?”
“Hmm… Bitted by mosquito.”
“You.. for this..” she whispered to herself and started to cry.
“I’m just make you cry, so, fulfill my wish.”
` “Okay, what?”
“Don’t slipped out from the roof”
“Hey, I have wish too”
“Okay, what?”
“Be my boyfriend.”
He smiled.
“Sure, and my wish again…”
She stared at him, wiped her tears and prepared herself to listen at his second wish.
“Don’t go to school tomorrow, you look gloomy, and now your eyes are swollen, agree?” he still smiled at her.
“Okay..” and then she left him, walked into the house.

And we never know which happily ever after or not.